Bone of My Bone and Flesh of My Flesh: Marriage by God’s Design

Al Felder
Dec 13, 2025
5 min read

“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman,

because she was taken out of Man.”

—Genesis 2:23

What a scene Scripture paints in Genesis 2. On the sixth day, after forming Adam from the dust, God caused a deep sleep to come upon him, took a rib from his side, and fashioned the woman. When God brought her to Adam, he responded with awe:

“Bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.”

In that moment, God established something that did not come from human creativity, culture, or law. He established marriage.

This post explores what marriage is according to God’s design—and why that design matters for our homes, our churches, and our society.

1. Marriage Originated with God, Not Man

Jesus made it clear that marriage is not a human invention:

“From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female… What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”—Mark 10:6–9

Marriage didn’t evolve over time or appear as a social experiment. From the moment God created male and female, He ordained this relationship—a covenant union between one man and one woman becoming one flesh.

One striking fact is that marriage is universal. Every known civilization, in every era and every region, has practiced some form of marriage. If marriage were merely a human idea, we might expect to find cultures with no such institution at all. Instead, we find it everywhere—because God ordained it at the beginning.

Marriage is also foundational:

It existed before any human government.
It existed before the church.

If you want to understand a society's strength or weakness, look at the condition of its homes.

2. The Home and the Health of the Church

Scripture ties the strength of Christ’s church closely to the strength of the home. When Paul described the qualifications of elders, he began with their marriages and families:

“If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children…”—Titus 1:6

A man may have incredible talent or biblical knowledge, but if his home is not what it should be, he is not qualified to shepherd God’s people. The church will never rise above the spiritual health of its families.

When the home breaks down, the church suffers. When the house is ordered according to God’s design, the church is strengthened.

3. The First Wedding in Eden

Genesis 2 records the very first wedding ceremony:

“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”—Genesis 2:18

God first brought the animals to Adam to be named. As Adam examined them, he saw that each had a companion—but he did not. God used this process to impress the man’s need upon his own heart.

Then God created the woman, fashioned from Adam’s rib, and brought her to him. In Eden, God Himself acted as the Father, giving the bride to the groom.

One man.
One woman.
One flesh.

This is marriage by God’s design.

4. Marriage Exists for God’s Glory

Because God designed marriage, it carries a meaning far higher than human convenience or personal happiness. Sadly, no generation has viewed marriage as highly as it deserves.

Even in Jesus’ day, divorce was common. The Pharisees asked if a man could divorce his wife “for every cause.” Jesus pointed them back to creation: “From the beginning it was not so” (Matt. 19:8). God permitted divorce under Moses because of the hardness of their hearts—but that was never His original design.

Jesus tightened, not loosened, the standard:

“Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery.”—Matthew 19:9

The disciples were so taken aback that they replied, “If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry” (Matt. 19:10). That response shows how low the view of marriage had fallen—even among those closest to Christ.

A quick and easy divorce does not honor God. It misrepresents what marriage is meant to display.

5. Marriage as a Picture of Christ and the Church

Paul reveals the most profound meaning of marriage in Ephesians 5:

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”—Ephesians 5:31–32

Here is the “mystery”: Marriage is designed to reflect the covenant relationship between Christ and His church.

Wives represent the church.
Husbands represent Christ.

“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”—Ephesians 5:24–25

Put simply:

The wife is called to a glad, willing submission, just as the church submits to Christ.
The husband is called to self-giving love, just as Christ gave Himself for the church.

This means the bottom-line posture of marriage is not, “What do I get?” but “What can I give?”

Wives: Do you set aside your own preferences and ambitions to bless your husband?
Husbands: Do you die to self daily to serve your wife’s good?

Divorce and careless remarriage are horrific in God’s eyes because they distort this picture of Christ’s unbreakable covenant with His people.

6. One Flesh—and One Primary Human Relationship

When a man and woman marry, they covenant before God to become one flesh. Their lives are woven together at every level:

Spiritually
Emotionally
Physically
Financially
Practically

This “one flesh” relationship is to take priority over all other human relationships—even the parent-child relationship.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.”—Genesis 2:24

To “cleave” means to cling, to pursue closely, to remain firmly joined. Only our pursuit of God should surpass a husband and wife’s pursuit of each other.

When the parent-child relationship is placed above the marriage relationship, families suffer:

Spouses drift apart while pouring all their energy into children.
When the children leave home, many couples discover they no longer have a relationship.
Parents may struggle to “let go,” pulling on one hand while the new spouse holds the other, creating painful tension.

Children do not need parents who revolve their entire identity around them. They need parents who know how to love each other well—who model a Christlike marriage they can one day imitate.

One of the best gifts a father can give his children is to love their mother well. One of the best gifts a mother can give her children is to honor and support their father.

7. Growing Together Toward Christ

God intends marriage to be a means of spiritual growth. Nowhere do we have more opportunity to practice Christlike humility than in the daily life of the home.

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 2:4–5

In a Christ-centered marriage:

Each spouse seeks the other’s good above self.
Each helps the other become more like Jesus.
Each sees the relationship not as a bargaining table, but as a place of service.

The oneness God desires in marriage can only be reached when both husband and wife stop asking, “How can I be fulfilled?” and start asking, “How can I help my spouse become all God intends?”