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By Al Felder “Upon this rock I will build my church ; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18) Jesus said He would build His  church—singular, not plural. That one detail is foundational. If Christ promised one church, why do we see so many different churches today, with different names, doctrines, structures, and practices? That question matters because it goes to the heart of authority: Are we following God’s original design, or are we following religious systems built over time by human decisions? Start with what Scripture says about “church” The word “church” (Greek: ekklesia ) means “the called out.” In the New Testament, it is used in two key senses: Universal sense : all the saved who belong to Christ. Local sense : a congregation of believers in a particular place (for example, the church at Corinth). This distinction helps us avoid confusion. The church is, universally, a spiritual family—the brotherhood of all who are in Christ. Locally, Christians organize into congregations for worship, mutual accountability, and carrying out God’s work together. God gave no structure larger than the local congregation In the New Testament pattern, Christ alone is Head of the church. There is no earthly headquarters over all congregations, no universal human ruler, and no hierarchy that governs every local body. Each local congregation is autonomous (self-governing) under Christ. Qualified elders oversee the flock among them. Their authority is real, but local—never worldwide, never denominational. That pattern is simple and wise: Christ as the only Head Scripture as the only authority Local congregations overseen by local elders When churches stay in that pattern, they remain anchored to God’s design. “Bind and loose” means heaven sets the terms Jesus’ teaching about binding and loosing is often misunderstood. He was not giving men the right to invent doctrine and expect heaven to approve it afterward. The force of His words is that what is bound or loosed on earth is what has already been determined in heaven. In other words, the church does not create truth—it receives and obeys revealed truth. That means every practice, teaching, and organizational decision must be measured by God’s word, not tradition, popularity, or institutional pressure. Compare today’s religious landscape with the beginning In Acts 2, we see the beginning clearly: The gospel was preached in Jerusalem. People heard, believed, repented, and were baptized. The Lord added the saved. That beginning is not blurry. It is precise. The Lord added people to the same body of saved believers—what Scripture elsewhere calls the one body. But today’s religious world is fragmented into thousands of groups with differing doctrines, names, creeds, and structures. Many of these systems are larger than a local congregation but smaller than the universal body Christ described. That is not the New Testament model. So the answer to “Why are there so many churches?” is not that Jesus built many. He did not. Where did the division come from? Division came through departure from the divine pattern. Even in the first century, Scripture warned of false teachers and internal corruption. Over time, leadership structures shifted away from local eldership toward centralized control. Later reform movements protested corruption, but many retained unscriptural organizational assumptions and produced additional bodies rather than restoring the original pattern in full. The result was not the restoration of unity, but the multiplication of religious systems. Denominations and the problem of multiple standards A denomination is a named segment with its own identity markers—often including doctrinal documents beyond Scripture that define membership and practice. The practical effect is this: what makes a person a member in one group often does not make them a member in another. That reality conflicts with the New Testament call for unity in truth and with Jesus’ prayer that His followers be one. Biblical unity is not unity at the expense of doctrine. It is unity through shared submission to God’s revealed word. The only path forward: restoration, not reinvention If the problem is departure from God’s original design, the cure is not a better human system. It is restoration. Restoration means: The Bible as the sole authority The gospel is the one message of salvation Christ as the only Head One body, as taught in Scripture Local congregations ordered by the New Testament pattern Jesus used seed language in His teaching. Seed reproduces after its kind. If we plant human tradition, we get human religion. If we plant the word of God, we get what God designed. The invitation remains the same If you want to be part of the same body described at the beginning, the call is still the same: Hear the gospel Believe in Christ Repent of sin Confess Christ Be baptized into Christ for the remission of sins When that happens, the Lord adds the saved. The church belongs to Him because He purchased it with His blood. Practicing what is taught Test everything by Scripture.  Don’t assume old traditions are automatically biblical. Value unity in truth.  Unity without doctrine is not the unity Jesus prayed for. Reject man-made hierarchy.  Honor Christ’s headship and the local pattern He gave. Pursue restoration.  Don’t settle for reforming error when Scripture calls for returning to the beginning. Reflection questions Do I believe Jesus built one church, or have I accepted division as normal? Am I following Scripture’s pattern—or inherited religious structures? Is my view of unity based on shared truth or mere coexistence? Have I confused denominational identity with belonging to Christ? What would it look like for me to return fully to the New Testament pattern?

By Al Felder “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord… For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8–9) Creation itself teaches us that God’s wisdom is higher than man’s. The order of the world, the precision of life, and the power of divine design all point to one conclusion: God knows what He is doing. That same truth appears in His design for the church. If man had designed the church, it would have looked very different—larger structures, layered chains of command, and systems built around human power. In fact, history shows that many groups have done exactly that: stepping away from Scripture to build religious organizations by human rules. But none of those arrangements improve on God’s pattern. When we read the New Testament carefully, we discover something important: Scripture uses “church” in both universal  and  local  senses. Understanding the difference is crucial to understanding God’s wisdom. The Church Universal: a spiritual relationship, not an earthly organization When Jesus said, “I will build my church” (Matthew 16:18), He was not speaking of a single congregation in a single city. He was speaking of His people throughout all places and all times—the redeemed who would obey the gospel and belong to Him. In that universal sense, the church is a relationship , not an earthly institution with a central office. It is God's spiritual family. That is why believers are called brothers and sisters. These are family terms, not corporate titles. The universal church reveals three shared realities among all who belong to Christ: Same spiritual parenthood  — all are children of God by faith in Christ. Same spiritual nationality  — a holy nation, distinct from the world. Same spiritual interests  — one mind, one love, one spiritual purpose. So the universal church is not a human hierarchy. It is the fellowship of all the saved under Christ. The Local Church: God’s structure for accountability, oversight, and growth While the universal church is relational, the local church is where structure appears. A local church is simply believers in a particular place who assemble and work together according to Scripture. And this is the key: there is no scriptural organization larger than the local congregation. No earthly headquarters. No universal human president. No man-made governing board over all churches. Christ alone is Head of the church (Colossians 1:18). He is the Lawgiver and King. All authority belongs to Him (Matthew 28:18; James 4:12). That means local congregations must govern themselves by His word—not by human inventions. This is why local congregations are autonomous (self-governing). In the New Testament pattern, each congregation appoints qualified elders (plural) to oversee that flock. Their authority is real, but it is also limited: they shepherd the congregation “among” them, not churches everywhere. Elder, bishop, pastor, shepherd: one office, different emphases Scripture uses multiple terms for the same leadership role in the local church: Elder  — emphasizes maturity and spiritual experience. Bishop/overseer  — emphasizes the work of supervision and watchfulness. Pastor/shepherd  — emphasizes feeding, guiding, and caring for the flock. These are not separate offices competing with each other. They are different descriptions of one scriptural role in local church oversight. And the New Testament pattern consistently shows a plurality of such men in each local church. When men separate these terms from their biblical meaning—or create authority structures that place oversight beyond the local flock—they depart from God’s pattern. Why God’s local design is wise Some misunderstand the universal church and assume that, without a giant earthly framework, Christians are left on their own. But God did not leave His people without support. In His wisdom, He gave the local church. Through local congregational life, Christians receive: Worship accountability  — believers assembling and encouraging one another. Mutual edification  — growth through fellowship, teaching, and shared burdens. Disciplinary care  — loving correction when someone is in sin, with restoration as the goal. Pastoral oversight  — shepherding from qualified elders who know the flock personally. This is not weakness; it is wisdom. God’s plan avoids the dangers of centralized human power while giving believers the exact spiritual care they need to remain faithful. Church discipline and the value of fellowship One of the clearest demonstrations of God’s wisdom is church discipline. In Corinth, a brother living in open sin had to be corrected by the congregation. That discipline was not cruelty—it was love aimed at saving the soul. Later, when repentance came, the same congregation was told to forgive and comfort him. That pattern teaches something powerful: the local church is both a disciplining body  and a restoring body . It protects holiness while pursuing redemption. That kind of care is only possible where fellowship is real and local. Known people can be corrected. People who are loved can be restored. The danger of abandoning the pattern Whenever people move beyond the biblical pattern and create organizations larger than the local church, abuses usually follow—power struggles, personality-driven control, and rule by human systems instead of Scripture. God’s arrangement protects against that. By keeping oversight local and authority centered in Christ, the New Testament pattern keeps men in their place and Christ in His place. Human plans often look impressive. God’s plan is faithful. Final exhortation God’s ways are higher than ours. We are not perfect, but His design is. If we follow His word—rather than our preferences—we can be the church Jesus built. The universal church teaches us who we are in Christ: one spiritual family of the redeemed. The local church teaches us how to live faithfully: under scriptural oversight, in worship, in accountability, in discipline, and in love. When we trust God’s pattern, we find not only order but protection, growth, and hope of heaven. Practicing what is taught Honor Christ’s headship daily.  Don’t give any man authority that belongs only to Jesus. Commit fully to a faithful local congregation.  Don’t treat local church life as optional. Value biblical oversight.  Pray for elders and support scriptural leadership. Protect congregational autonomy.  Resist man-made structures beyond the local church. Practice redemptive fellowship.  Be willing to correct, forgive, and restore in love. Reflection questions Do I understand the difference between the church universal and the local congregation? Have I accepted human religious structures that go beyond the New Testament pattern? Do I truly live under Christ’s headship, or do I lean on human authority first? Am I actively participating in the life, worship, and accountability of a faithful local church? Do I value fellowship enough to both give and receive loving correction?

By Al Felder “Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world : if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight… but now is my kingdom not from hence” (John 18:36). When Jesus stood before Pilate, the issue at hand was political. The Jews could not prove any legitimate wrongdoing, so they pressed an accusation that would interest Rome: He claims to be a king.  Pilate’s question—“Art thou the King of the Jews?”—was really a question about threat. Was Jesus leading a rebellion? Was He a rival to Caesar? Jesus answered in a way that exposes one of the most common misunderstandings in religion: His kingdom is not an earthly kingdom.  Its source is not earthly, its authority is not earthly, its power is not earthly, and its citizens are not earthly-minded. Pilate couldn’t move his attention off the visible and physical long enough to recognize what was spiritual—and that same blindness is still common today. The tragedy is that Israel wanted a different kind of kingdom, too. They expected a throne like David’s—only greater—an empire with borders, soldiers, and political dominance. But the Lord established something higher than that: a kingdom that reigns in hearts, spreads through truth, and cannot be destroyed by armies. And what is even more tragic is that many people still look for a kingdom other than the one the Lord established—expecting Christ’s kingdom to be set up someday in an earthly form when He returns. But Jesus’ own words before Pilate force us to face the truth: the kingdom He established is spiritual. The kingdom has already been established The New Testament does not speak of Christ’s kingdom as a distant hope after the first century. It speaks of it as a present reality. John wrote as a companion “in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:9). That statement only makes sense if the kingdom existed at the time he wrote. And when the New Testament timeline is read carefully, the beginning point becomes clear: Pentecost in Acts 2 . Before Acts 2, references to the kingdom point forward—“at hand,” “coming,” “near.” After Acts 2, the kingdom is spoken of as existing. That day marked the fulfillment of prophecy as the apostles received power from on high, men from every nation were gathered, and the terms of entrance into the kingdom were preached for the first time. From that point forward, the kingdom exists as a spiritual reality in the world. What does “kingdom” mean? To understand the spiritual nature of the kingdom, we have to understand what the word kingdom  meant in the world of Scripture. In modern usage, when we hear “kingdom,” we usually think of a territory—like a country with borders. But in ancient usage, the primary idea behind “kingdom” was often the king's reign or rule . Territory could be included, but it was secondary. Even Hebrew poetry highlights this. “Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations” (Psalm 145:13). The parallelism links “kingdom” with “dominion”—the concept of rule. Jesus also used the same idea in His teaching. He spoke of a nobleman who went into a far country “to receive a kingdom” and then returned (Luke 19:15). The idea is not that he received a landmass he didn’t have before, but that he received kingship —authority to rule. This matters because the New Testament does not always use “kingdom” as a direct synonym for “church” in every context. Sometimes “kingdom” emphasizes God’s reign , and sometimes it emphasizes the realm of that reign  (the people who submit to it—the church). A simple and helpful method is to test the context: if “reign” fits, you’re likely dealing with the primary meaning; if “church/realm” fits, you’re seeing the kingdom as the community under that reign. The reign of God and the end of the old covenant This distinction helps clarify passages that otherwise confuse people. For example, Jesus spoke of signs surrounding Jerusalem and said, “Know ye that the kingdom of God is nigh at hand” (Luke 21:31). The context points to the destruction of A.D. 70, when the Romans destroyed the temple under Titus. But the church had been established decades earlier. So what is “near” in that context? The clearest reading is that the passage emphasizes the reign  of God being made undeniable in judgment and transition. The Jews’ continued adherence to the Law of Moses—and their reliance on the temple and sacrifices—was a visible expression of their rejection of Christ’s kingship. But Hebrews 8:13 makes the point that the first covenant became old and was ready to vanish away. When the temple was destroyed, the old system could no longer function as it had, and the reality of the new covenant reign stood unmistakably in view. The kingdom and the church There are also passages where the realm is clearly in view. Paul said God “hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son” (Colossians 1:13). That is not future language. It is present. It describes the saved being brought under Christ’s rule as citizens of His kingdom. That leads to a simple, biblical way to describe the church: the church is the people who come under the reign of God and accept His rule in their lives.  The church is the present manifestation of the kingdom in the world—the community of the called-out who live under Christ’s authority. A kingdom that is “within you” Because Christ’s kingdom is spiritual, its territory and operations differ from those of earthly kingdoms. When the Pharisees demanded to know when the kingdom would come, Jesus answered: “The kingdom of God cometh not with observation… for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:20–21). Jesus’ point was not that there would be no outward effects of the kingdom’s coming. His point was that His kingdom is almost entirely internal in its domain and function , while earthly kingdoms are almost entirely external. Earthly kingdoms rely on borders, weapons, flags, and political dominance. Christ’s kingdom advances through the gospel—through hearts submitting to truth. As men and women obey the gospel, they become subjects of the King. Established in one day, not by violence Earthly kingdoms are typically built through violence, oppression, and long campaigns. But Scripture uses a vivid image to describe the beginning of God’s kingdom: birth without prolonged labor. Isaiah 66:7–9 speaks of a woman bringing forth a child before the pains of labor—asking, “Shall a nation be born at once?” That image fits the reality of Pentecost: the church was brought forth in one day, because it is spiritual, not physical. It did not rise through military conquest. It did not require decades of warfare. It was established by the power and promise of God. That is exactly what Jesus told Pilate: “If my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight…” (John 18:36). But they did not fight, because that was never the nature of His reign. A kingdom without walls Zechariah 2:1–5 describes a coming Jerusalem that would be inhabited “as towns without walls,” not because it was vulnerable, but because the Lord Himself would be “a wall of fire round about.” In ancient times, walls meant protection and boundaries. Villages without walls were exposed, and people fled to walled cities when danger came. So the prophecy sounds strange—until you recognize the spiritual nature of the kingdom. A kingdom “without walls” is not limited to one geographical location. It spans nations. It reaches people in every land. Its unity is not found in citizenship papers, but in a shared bond in Christ. This is why Isaiah 2:4 can speak of a people who beat swords into plowshares—because those under Christ’s reign are not defined by earthly national hatred. In the kingdom of Christ, brethren are brethren no matter their ethnicity or nationality. “The called out” and the required change The church is often described as “the called out”—people summoned out of darkness into light. Abraham is a fitting picture: he left what he knew to pursue God’s promise (Hebrews 11:8–10). In the same way, nobody enters the kingdom by geography, bloodline, or family name. John the Baptist made it plain: do not trust ancestry—bring forth fruits worthy of repentance (Matthew 3:8–9). Because the kingdom is spiritual, citizenship is spiritual. It requires a spiritual change. That is why the terms of entrance matter. On the day the kingdom was established, the gospel was preached, men believed, they were told to repent, and they were commanded to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins (Acts 2:38). After that obedience, “the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved” (Acts 2:47). Those terms have not changed, because the King has not changed. Practicing what is taught Here are practical ways to live in the reality of a spiritual kingdom: Stop measuring the kingdom by earthly standards.  If you look for a political empire, you will miss the reign of Christ in hearts. Let Christ reign in the hidden places.  A spiritual kingdom demands inner submission—thoughts, motives, speech, and private conduct. See brethren as brethren before nationality.  The kingdom transcends borders; unity in Christ must rise above earthly divisions. Honor the gospel terms.  The King adds the saved; salvation must be approached in the King’s way. Live as “called out.”  Don’t try to inherit the promise while clinging to the world’s identity and values. Reflection questions Do I think of the kingdom primarily as Christ’s reign—or as an earthly territory? Have I ever been tempted to want a kingdom like the world’s, rather than the one Christ established? Is Christ truly reigning in my heart, or am I trying to keep parts of my life “off limits” to His authority? Do I treat the church as a spiritual kingdom that transcends national and cultural boundaries? Have I obeyed the gospel terms of entrance as revealed in the New Testament, and do I honor them consistently?

By Al Felder “In the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed… it shall stand for ever” (Daniel 2:44). History is full of kingdoms that rose with power and fell into dust. Empires have boasted, threatened, conquered, and demanded worship—only to be swallowed by time. But Daniel 2 shows us something different: God’s kingdom is not temporary.  It is not built by human hands. It does not depend on armies, borders, or politics. And it cannot be crushed by the rise and fall of man. Daniel’s interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream is one of the clearest prophetic roadmaps in Scripture. It traces the march of world empires and then announces the moment when God would establish a kingdom that would outlast them all. That prophecy matters because it anchors our faith in this truth: the kingdom of God is not a religious idea—it is a divine reality established in time and proven by fulfillment. A troubled king, a forgotten dream, and a God who reveals Nebuchadnezzar had a dream that disturbed him deeply. When he awoke, he could not remember it clearly, but the fear of it remained. He demanded that Babylon’s wise men tell him both the dream and its meaning. They failed. And in his fury, he ordered the death of the wise men. That crisis is the moment God brought Daniel forward. Daniel asked for time, and God revealed the dream and its meaning to him. Daniel then stood before the king and did what no human wisdom could: he accurately spoke the dream and interpreted it with confidence—not because Daniel was naturally gifted, but because  God rules the future. The image: four kingdoms of man In the dream, Nebuchadnezzar saw a great image—a towering figure made of different materials: A head of fine gold Breast and arms of silver Belly and thighs of brass Legs of iron Feet part of iron and part of clay Then a stone was cut out without hands  and struck the image on its feet. The entire image collapsed , like chaff blown away by the wind. But the stone grew into a great mountain and filled the whole earth (Daniel 2:31–35). Daniel explained that the different materials represented a sequence of world kingdoms. 1) Babylon — the head of gold Daniel told Nebuchadnezzar plainly: “Thou art this head of gold” (Daniel 2:38). Babylon was the first major empire in this prophetic chain—glorious, powerful, and proud. Babylon also carries a spiritual meaning throughout Scripture. It is repeatedly associated with rebellion against God. It becomes a symbol of man’s arrogance—building in defiance of God, boasting against heaven, and seeking glory apart from the Lord. 2) Medo-Persia — the silver kingdom After Babylon would come another kingdom “inferior” in splendor but still mighty (Daniel 2:39). This second kingdom fits the Medo-Persian Empire, which overtook Babylon and ruled widely. 3) Greece — the brass kingdom A third kingdom would arise and “bear rule over all the earth” (Daniel 2:39). The Greek Empire fits the description—swift, expanding, and influential far beyond military conquest, even shaping language and culture in ways that would later serve God’s providence. 4) Rome — the iron kingdom with divided feet The fourth kingdom would be “strong as iron,” breaking and subduing (Daniel 2:40). Iron is a fitting picture for Rome—powerful, crushing, and disciplined. But the dream also described a later division: feet and toes mixed with iron and clay. The kingdom would be partly strong and partly broken—unable to truly “cleave” together (Daniel 2:41–43). Rome eventually became divided, and its internal fractures proved the prophecy : no matter how impressive an empire looks, man cannot create eternal stability. The turning point: “in the days of these kings” Now we come to the central line—the one that should make every Bible student sit up straight: “In the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom…” (Daniel 2:44). The kingdom of God was not promised to appear during the Babylonian, Median-Persian, or Greek periods. Daniel locates it during the days of the fourth kingdom —Rome. That is exactly what we find when we read the Gospels. Jesus came preaching, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand” (Mark 1:15). John the Baptist announced the same nearness. The message was consistent: the kingdom had not yet been established, but it was close. Then Jesus made it even clearer: “There be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power” (Mark 9:1). The kingdom was not a distant idea—it was a near event, coming with power within the lifetime of some who heard Him. The kingdom comes with power Jesus told His apostles to wait for power from on high (Luke 24:49). That promise was fulfilled on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2—when the apostles received power from the Holy Spirit, preached the gospel, and sinners obeyed the message. From that point onward, something changes in the language of Scripture: Before Pentecost, the kingdom is spoken of as coming. After Pentecost, it is spoken of as present. Paul would later say God “hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son” (Colossians 1:13). You cannot be translated into something that does not exist. The kingdom exists because God established it exactly when Daniel said He would. The stone cut without hands Daniel’s prophecy does something else that is easy to miss: it explains the nature of God’s kingdom. The stone was “cut out… without hands” (Daniel 2:45). That phrase highlights that this kingdom is not manufactured by human planning. It is not built by bloodshed, conquest, elections, or inheritance. It is established by God. Peter later described Christians as “lively stones” built into a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5). God’s kingdom is made of people—redeemed souls joined to Christ. That is why the stone does not simply replace one empire with another. It breaks in pieces and consumes all these kingdoms  (Daniel 2:44). In other words, God’s kingdom is the final authority. Every human power is temporary. Every empire is a chapter. But the kingdom of God is the story that outlasts them all. Rome tried to crush it. Rome tried to silence it. Rome tried to intimidate it. And Rome fell. The kingdom did not. Why this matters now Daniel 2 is not just prophecy—it is perspective. If you belong to the kingdom of God, you belong to something that cannot be destroyed. You are not clinging to a fragile institution. You are part of a kingdom established by God, ruled by Christ, and destined to stand forever. That should change how we see the world: Nations will shake. Governments will shift. Cultures will rebel. Institutions will crumble. But Christ’s kingdom remains. And the invitation remains, too: the kingdom continues to grow as men and women hear and obey the gospel of Christ. Practicing what is taught Here are practical ways to live with Daniel 2 in your bones: Refuse fear-driven living.  Empires rise and fall; the kingdom stands. Anchor your identity in Christ’s reign.  Don’t let politics or culture become your “kingdom.” Treat the church as eternal work.  Invest your life in what cannot be destroyed. Obey the gospel with urgency.  The kingdom is not entered by heritage or opinion, but by submission to Christ. Reflection questions Do I live as though God’s kingdom is eternal—or as though I’m depending on temporary things? When the world feels unstable, where do I run first—fear, anger, or faith? Have I allowed earthly kingdoms to shape my hope more than Christ’s kingdom? Am I thankful that God’s kingdom was established by His power and not by man’s hands? What would change in my daily life if I truly believed, “It shall stand for ever”?

By Al Felder “ And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established… and all nations shall flow unto it… for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem ” (Isaiah 2:2–3). People have many ideas about what the church is, when it began, and where it came from. But God did not leave those questions unanswered. Long before the church existed in visible reality, the Lord spoke of it in promise  and prophecy —and then brought it into existence in fact . Isaiah’s words in Isaiah 2 do more than inspire. They answer four foundational questions about the church: When  would it be established? What  would be established? Who  would enter it? Where  would it begin? When we let Scripture interpret Scripture, the picture becomes clear. The church is not an accident of history. It is God's eternal plan unfolding exactly as He said it would. 1) When did the church begin? Isaiah points us to a specific time: “the last days.”  That phrase is often misunderstood, but the New Testament explains it plainly. On the day of Pentecost in Acts 2, Peter stood before the multitude and declared that what was happening was the fulfillment of prophecy: “ This is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel… and it shall come to pass in the last days ” (Acts 2:16–17). Peter did not speak as though the “last days” were far away. He identified his own moment—Pentecost—as the fulfillment of the “last days” language. So what are “the last days”? When you trace the flow of Scripture, you see God dealing with mankind in distinct periods of revealed law and responsibility: Patriarchal time : God dealt with families through the patriarchs. Mosaic time : God dealt with Israel as a nation through the Law of Moses. Christian time : God deals with all nations through the gospel of Christ. That final period—the reign of Christ and the gospel age—is rightly called “the last days”  because it is the last divine arrangement before the final judgment. There is no future covenant after Christ. There is no later system to replace the gospel. The Christian age is the final dispensation before eternity. Pentecost in Acts 2 is not just an exciting day in Bible history—it is a turning point in God’s plan. The time Isaiah described arrived. The “last days” began. 2) What was to be established? Isaiah calls it “the mountain of the Lord’s house.”  Both phrases are loaded with meaning. The “mountain” In the Old Testament, mountains  are frequently used to represent kingdoms, dominions, powers, and ruling authorities. When God described the fall of Babylon, for example, He used “mountain” language in judgment (Jeremiah 51:25). Isaiah’s point is that God would establish a new kingdom—exalted, unshakeable, and higher than all competing authorities. The “Lord’s house” Isaiah also calls it “the Lord’s house.” Zechariah echoes the same promise: “ My house shall be built in it ” (Zechariah 1:16). The Lord promised a house that would be established and built in the last days. The New Testament identifies exactly what that “house” is: “ the house of God… which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth ” (1 Timothy 3:15). God’s “house” is not bricks and timber. It is a spiritual household made up of redeemed people. The church is the Lord’s house because the church belongs to Christ, is purchased by His blood, and is governed by His word. Hebrews reinforces that this “house” is made of people: “ Christ as a Son over His own house; whose house are we ” (Hebrews 3:6). The church is a living house—souls joined to Christ and to one another under the New Covenant. So what was established in the last days? The kingdom—God’s house—the church. 3) What is “Zion,” and why does Isaiah connect it to the church? Isaiah says, “ Out of Zion shall go forth the law… from Jerusalem ” (Isaiah 2:3). Joel’s prophecy also speaks of deliverance in Zion  (Joel 2:28–32). Many people read “Zion” as only a physical location, but the New Testament reveals  a fuller meaning. Hebrews draws a contrast between Mount Sinai (the old covenant) and Mount Zion (the new covenant). It says, “ Ye are come unto mount Zion… the heavenly Jerusalem… to the general assembly and church of the firstborn ” (Hebrews 12:22–23). Zion is pictured as a spiritual reality connected to the church—God’s people gathered under the authority of Christ and the blessings of the New Covenant. Zion is the place of deliverance—not because of geography, but because salvation is found in Christ’s kingdom. It is where sinners are freed from bondage through the gospel, where forgiveness is offered through the blood of Christ, and where God’s people live under the reign of the King. This is why Isaiah’s language is so powerful: he’s describing a future time when God’s kingdom would be established, God’s house would be built, and God’s law would go forth with authority from a specific beginning point. 4) Who would enter this house? Isaiah gives the answer: “all nations shall flow unto it”  (Isaiah 2:2). That alone is significant. Under the Law of Moses, Israel stood as a distinct nation with covenant identity. But Isaiah foresaw something larger: a kingdom not limited by ethnicity, nationality, or language. A house open to every nation. Acts 2 shows the beginning of that fulfillment. There were Jews in Jerusalem “ out of every nation under heaven ” (Acts 2:5). The gospel was preached, and the invitation was extended. The terms of entry into God’s house were not hidden, and they have not changed. The pattern is clear: The people heard  the gospel. They were moved to believe  that Jesus is the risen Christ (Acts 2:32). They were commanded to repent . They were commanded to be baptized… for the remission of sins  (Acts 2:38). And then the Lord added them to the church  (Acts 2:47). The church is not entered by human vote, family tradition, or personal preference. The Lord adds the saved when they obey the gospel. The church is the body of the redeemed. Zechariah also pictured the nations being drawn in—people from many cities, many languages, seeking the Lord (Zechariah 8:20–23). While the gospel began with the Jews, it was never intended to end with the Jews. In time, the gospel was preached to the Gentiles as well, and the separation that once existed was removed in Christ (Ephesians 2:14). God’s house would include all nations—not two kingdoms, not two plans, but one people under one King. 5) Where did it begin? Isaiah’s prophecy points to Jerusalem . Zechariah speaks of Jerusalem. And the New Testament confirms it plainly. Jesus said that “ repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem ” (Luke 24:47). He also told the apostles to remain there until they were “ endued with power from on high ” (Luke 24:49). That power was the outpouring of the Spirit that took place on Pentecost in Acts 2. So the location matters—not because the church is tied to a city forever, but because God promised a specific starting point, and He kept that promise exactly. Jerusalem is where the word first went forth with New Covenant authority. It is where the gospel was first proclaimed in full light after the resurrection. It is where the church began in visible reality as souls were saved and added by the Lord. The final test: Can it be traced to “the beginning”? Later, when Peter explained the conversion of Cornelius and his household, he described the Spirit’s work as something that matched what happened “ at the beginning ” (Acts 11:15). That statement matters. It anchors the beginning of this gospel age to Pentecost. That means something sobering and important: Any “church” that cannot trace its origin to that beginning—Pentecost, the gospel, the apostolic foundation—is not the church that Jesus built. Human institutions can arise at any moment in history. New denominations can be invented by new doctrines. But the church in promise, prophecy, and fact is the one God foretold, the one Christ purchased, and the one that began when the gospel first went forth from Jerusalem in the last days. Practicing what is taught Here are practical ways to take these truths beyond information and into conviction: Let Scripture define the church.  Don’t start with tradition, culture, or family background—start with the Bible. Anchor your faith in God’s plan.  The church is not an afterthought; it is the unfolding of God’s eternal purpose in Christ. Take the gospel terms seriously.  The Lord adds the saved—so salvation must be approached the Lord’s way, not man’s. Value the church as God’s house.  If it is truly the “pillar and ground of the truth,” it deserves reverence, loyalty, and love. Reflection questions Do I see the church as God’s eternal plan—or merely as a human religious organization? Have I allowed modern ideas to redefine what the church is and how it began? Do I understand why “the last days” began in the first century and continue now? Am I honoring the gospel terms that the Lord set for entry into His house? Can I trace what I believe and practice back to the apostolic beginning revealed in Acts?

Part 1 — Why God Cares About Distinction By Al Felder From the beginning, God made His design clear: humanity was created “male and female,” with purpose and order woven into creation itself (Genesis 1:26–27). Those differences are not accidents of biology or leftover cultural habits. They are part of God’s wisdom as Creator, and they connect directly to the roles He has given men and women. Our culture often treats gender roles as outdated, but Scripture treats them as meaningful. When people reject God’s design, they are not merely rejecting tradition—they are rejecting God’s authority. That rejection always produces darkness (Romans 1:19–21). At the same time, role distinction does not equal spiritual inferiority. Men and women are equal in value and salvation in Christ (Galatians 3:28), but they are not equal in role. A helpful example is Christ Himself. Jesus is not inferior to the Father—He is God—yet He submitted to the Father to accomplish redemption (Philippians 2:6–8). In the same way, role distinctions within the home reflect order, not lesser worth. With that foundation in place, we can understand why clothing matters. Clothing became necessary because sin brought shame Before sin, Adam and Eve were naked “and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). There was no guilt. No fear. No hiding. But once sin entered, everything changed. Shame arrived immediately (Genesis 3:7–11). The first instinct was to cover themselves—because sin produces guilt, and guilt produces shame. That connection is still true today. When people suppress guilt long enough, the conscience can become hardened. And as spiritual shame decreases, physical shame often decreases with it. The less shame a culture feels before God, the more comfortable it becomes with exposure. Adam and Eve’s own covering wasn’t sufficient. So God provided coats of skins (Genesis 3:21). That act was not only practical—it was symbolic. The first death in Scripture occurs immediately after sin and points forward to sacrifice. In that picture, God receives the offering, and humanity receives covering—an early shadow of Christ as the Lamb foreordained for redemption (Revelation 13:8). That is why the Bible later uses the language of being properly clothed spiritually—“white raiment,” and “put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Revelation 3:18; Romans 13:14). So clothing is not merely social. It is theological. It exists because sin exists. Distinct clothing reflects God’s created order Because clothing can conceal physical differences, God ordained that clothing should also  communicate distinction. Scripture says: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment” (Deuteronomy 22:5). The key idea isn't “no shared clothing at all,” but rather that there are garments that pertain distinctly to men and those that pertain distinctly to women. The Bible’s concern is that outward appearance not obscure what God made clear. Even historically, men’s and women’s garments were distinguishable. As one reference explains, while both wore inner and outer garments, the differences were noticeable—women’s clothing being looser and more flowing in its overall appearance.[2] Roles and clothing: work, movement, and the home Scripture repeatedly presents role distinctions tied to how men and women function in their God-given duties. Men are described as protectors, providers, and leaders. Their clothing was suited for outdoor life, travel, labor, and battle. That is why men “girded up the loins”—gathering loose ends of the garment and tucking them into a girdle so movement would not be hindered.[1] This is the force behind statements like, “Gird up now thy loins like a man” (Job 38:3). It’s an expression of readiness, strength, and action. Women, by contrast, are repeatedly associated with the stability of the home and the raising of children in God’s ways. Their clothing was not designed for the same movement demands; instead, it was designed to remain modest and distinct—commonly described as a full-length garment. Scripture even uses shame-language when depicting the lifting of a woman’s garment (Isaiah 47:2–3). Distinct garments in Scripture It is important to note that Scripture speaks of items that are distinctly male and distinctly female. Examples associated with men: Girding up the loins  (readiness for work and movement)[1] Breeches  (initially for modesty in priestly duties; later seen in broader usage) (Exodus 28:42; Daniel 3:21) Girdle  as a functional item enabling “girding up” (Exodus 28:4) Ephod  as a priestly garment (Exodus 28:8) Mantle  associated with prophets (1 Kings 19:13) Examples associated with women: Wimples and veils/hoods  used as head coverings (Isaiah 3:22–23) That matters because Deuteronomy 22:5 condemns the deliberate crossing of gender distinction in dress as an abomination. This is not a trivial issue in God’s sight. It is a rebellion against the Creator’s design. Practicing what is taught Here are practical ways to apply these principles without turning them into mere arguments: Start with the heart:  ask whether your choices reflect reverence for God’s order or resistance to it. Choose distinction on purpose:  don’t drift into a style that blurs male and female. Teach children early:  explain why God’s design is good and why distinction matters. Think “witness,” not “trend”:  your clothing communicates values, even when you don’t speak. Reflection questions Do I view God’s design for male and female as wisdom—or as an inconvenience? Does my appearance clearly honor the distinction God made, or does it blur it? Have I absorbed cultural thinking that treats modesty and distinction as outdated? What am I teaching my children—directly or indirectly—about gender and God’s order? Where do I need to adjust my mindset so that obedience becomes joyful rather than resentful? References for Part 1 [1] Henry, Matthew. A Commentary on the Whole Bible.  Vol. 5. Ward, Lock & Co., p. 412. [2] Brand, Chad; Draper, Charles; England, Archie (eds.). Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary.  B&H Publishing Group, 2003, p. 312. [3] Henry, Matthew. A Commentary on the Whole Bible.  Vol. 4. Ward, Lock & Co., p. 1250. [4] Gesenius. Hebrew-Chaldee Lexicon.  (Referenced in the original study for “garment.”)

Part 2 — New Testament Consistency, Word Studies, and Biblical Modesty By Al Felder If the distinction between male and female clothing is rooted in creation and role—rather than in temporary cultural fashion—then we should expect the same principles to remain consistent throughout Scripture. That is exactly what we find. This is not merely an Old Testament concern. The New Testament reinforces distinction, modesty, and purity—often with language that becomes clearer when we pay attention to key Greek terms. The New Testament calls for modest apparel—and the word matters “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…” (1 Timothy 2:9). The phrase “modest apparel” includes the Greek expression kata stolē , which conveys the idea of a garment “let down” or lowered—an outer garment that hangs rather than being taken up.[5] That matters because it contrasts the patterns tied to men’s functional clothing (“girding up” for labor, running, or fighting) with the woman’s distinct presentation— a garment that is let down . This is not about vanity or superiority. It is about a visible distinction that aligns with God’s order. Nature teaches distinction—and the language of “covering” matters “Doth not even nature itself teach you…?” (1 Corinthians 11:14–15). In this passage, Scripture identifies long hair on a woman as a glory and describes it as a covering —the sense of being veiled.[6] That connects with the Old Testament reality that veils and head coverings were distinctively female garments. The New Testament continues the theme: men should not adopt what God presents as feminine distinction , and women should not cast off what God presents as feminine glory. Effeminacy is condemned—and it is not a meaningless word 1 Corinthians 6:9–10 lists sins that, if persisted in, exclude a person from the kingdom. Among them is the word translated as " effeminate , meaning “womanlike” or taking on womanly characteristics.[7] This is important because Scripture distinguishes between rejecting masculinity (effeminacy) and other categories listed in the same context. The point is plain: God condemns the rejection of the created distinction— including adopting the appearance and manner that belongs to the opposite sex. Clothing becomes part of that conversation because appearance communicates identification. How much must be covered? A biblical definition of nakedness This question matters because modern culture often relocates the line of modesty wherever it wants. But Scripture uses “nakedness” in a way that is more precise than many assume. Adam and Eve’s first attempt was not enough After sin, Adam and Eve made “aprons” (Genesis 3:7). The word indicates a girdle or loincloth.[8] It was minimal. God then clothed them with “coats of skins” (Genesis 3:21). The word describes a tunic with skirts (and commonly understood as a fuller covering than the apron).[9] In other words, God replaced their insufficient covering with something clearly more complete. That matters: God’s standard was higher than theirs. Scripture associates shame with exposing the lower leg Isaiah 47:2–3 links shame with exposure. The term translated as “thigh” in that passage can also refer to the lower leg or calf.[10] The point is not to create a “measurement religion,” but to acknowledge that Scripture treats exposure as morally significant and shameful in its own categories—not ours. A consistent biblical image: garments that reach downward Revelation gives a picture of Christ “clothed with a garment down to the foot” (Revelation 1:13). The Greek term emphasizes a garment reaching to the ankles.[11] That image harmonizes with the consistent biblical picture: proper covering is not minimal. Another strong example is Peter in John 21:7. The text says he was “naked,” yet the term can mean clad only in the undergarment .[12] Peter was not necessarily without fabric—he was without the proper outer covering. That tells us something crucial: Biblical nakedness can include being without the outer garment that provides sufficient coverage , even if a person is not completely unclothed. Revelation 3:18 again reinforces this by connecting nakedness with shame and urging proper “raiment,” described as a long outer garment.[13] Why this matters for families and children When gender distinction is blurred in clothing and appearance, children grow up confused about roles. And when roles are blurred, it becomes easier for society to discard them entirely. That is not an accidental cultural trend—it is a direct attack on God’s created order. Scripture reminds us that rebellion against God’s assigned place is serious. Jude 6 describes angels who “kept not their first estate” and left their proper habitation. The principle is sobering: rebellion against God’s order—whether angelic or human—aligns with the spirit of Satan, not the Spirit of God. So this issue is not “small.” It is part of a larger war against God’s design. Practicing what is taught To apply these truths faithfully and wisely: Use Scripture as your measuring line, not culture. Aim for a clear distinction, not borderline ambiguity. Let modesty be rooted in shamefacedness and sobriety  (a holy seriousness), not in fear of people. Teach children that roles are gifts, not cages.  God’s design is for blessing and stability. Make your home a place where God’s order is honored , not mocked or minimized. Reflection questions Do I accept that clothing and appearance can communicate rebellion—or obedience—toward God’s design? Have I allowed culture to redefine modesty for me instead of Scripture? Does my appearance clearly reflect male/female distinction in a way that honors God? What “standard” am I modeling for my children—and where did that standard come from? If God replaced Adam and Eve’s covering with something fuller, what does that teach me about taking modesty seriously? References for Part 2 [5] Vine, W. E. Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words.  Thomas Nelson, 1996, p. 31. [6] Vine, W. E. Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words.  Thomas Nelson, 1996, p. 136. [7] Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary.  (Referenced in the original study for “effeminate.”) [8] Brown-Driver-Briggs. Entry for “apron/girdle (loin covering).” [9] Brown-Driver-Briggs. Entry for “coat/tunic.” [10] Brown-Driver-Briggs. Entry for the term used in Isaiah 47:2 (“thigh/lower leg”).[11] Thayer’s Greek Lexicon. Entry for the term in Revelation 1:13 (“down to the foot/ankle-length”). [12] Thayer’s Greek Lexicon. Entry for the term in John 21:7 (“naked/only in undergarment”). [13] Strong’s Concordance. Entry for the term in Revelation 3:18 (“raiment/outer garment”).

By Al Felder “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing: and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17). God has always called His people to be different—not different for attention, but different because we belong to Him. That difference reaches into every part of life: what we value, what we pursue, and how we make decisions. And it absolutely includes the way young people approach relationships. If Christians follow the world’s relationship patterns, we should not be surprised when we experience the world’s relationship consequences—sexual sin before marriage, and then heartbreak, instability, and divorce after marriage. This isn’t just about personal pain. The health of families affects the strength of the church. And the strength of the church depends on the integrity of the homes within it. So this subject is not small. It matters. And it deserves God’s wisdom—not cultural assumptions. Dating is common, but God’s principles are constant Much of what modern society calls “dating” trains young people to treat relationships like a pastime. It is often driven by attraction, attention, and emotion—sometimes with little thought about marriage at all. The relationship begins with private time, deep emotional attachment, and increasing physical closeness, while spiritual seriousness is often treated as optional. God’s principles move in the opposite direction. God’s wisdom emphasizes: marriage as the goal , not entertainment as the goal protection , not exposure purity , not pressure family order , not independence without accountability When young people treat romance as a game, hearts are wounded, consciences are dulled, and habits form that do not magically disappear after a wedding. Why the father’s role matters A father’s responsibility is not to control his daughter, but to protect her. God designed fathers to be guardians—men who help their daughters make wise choices and avoid foolish traps. Even in many modern wedding ceremonies, you still hear a remnant of that idea in the question, “Who gives this woman to be married?” It reflects that a father’s consent and protection matter. A father who ignores this area and simply “hopes for the best” is not fulfilling the role God gave him. Protection means oversight, guidance, wisdom, and involvement—especially when the world is working hard to awaken passions early and normalize what God calls sin. A strong father-daughter relationship makes this possible. When a daughter respects her father, she is far more likely to receive his counsel rather than resent it. And when a father is engaged, he can help evaluate a young man’s character—his intentions, stability, spirituality, and readiness to be a husband. God’s roles must be respected from the beginning God is a God of order. Scripture teaches order in the home, and that order shouldn’t be ignored when relationships begin. When a young man wants to pursue a young woman with marriage as the goal, maturity and honor require that he approach her father and make his intentions known. In modern practice, many people do this only at the end—after emotions are tangled, boundaries have blurred, and people have taken privileges that belong only to marriage. That is backward. A relationship pursued in honor involves transparency, seriousness, and respect for family authority. A young man shows character when he’s willing to do things the right way instead of the easy way. The real danger is the flesh versus the Spirit The greatest threat in modern dating isn’t merely tradition—it’s temptation. When young people build relationships around attraction and private intimacy, they place themselves in a constant battle: desire pulling one way, conscience pulling the other. And most people are not as strong as they assume they are. The predictable result is crossing lines that should never be approached outside marriage. Proverbs asks a piercing question: “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” (Proverbs 6:27). If someone keeps putting themselves in situations where purity is pressured, it becomes only a matter of time before the heart gets scorched. This is why “dating for fun” is spiritually dangerous. It awakens passions that were designed for marriage, but it offers no covenant to contain them. It trains the mind and body to crave intimacy without commitment. Guard your heart, not just your body Purity is not only physical. It is also emotional and mental. Many young people give away pieces of themselves long before marriage—through private conversations, constant texting, late-night messages, emotional dependence, and a level of intimacy that belongs to a covenant relationship. Our culture has created high intimacy with low commitment, and it leaves people emotionally frayed and spiritually compromised. There are physical “firsts,” but there are emotional “firsts” too—first deep confiding, first romantic language, first exclusive affection, first “you’re my everything.” When those things are scattered across multiple relationships, people often enter marriage with less tenderness to give, less trust to offer, and more baggage to carry. Wisdom says: save the deepest parts of yourself for the covenant that lasts. Ask the right question Many young people ask, “How far can we go?” That question usually reveals the heart behind it: How close can we get to sin without feeling guilty? If the goal is holiness, that is the wrong question. A better question is: “How can we best pursue purity and honor God?” Scripture teaches that young men and women should treat one another with purity, not like spouses before they are spouses. If you are not husband and wife, you should not act like husband and wife. Use youth the way God intended Modern dating also consumes time and attention. It can become a cycle of drama, obsession, daydreaming, and emotional highs and lows that distracts young people from what matters most. God’s command is simple: “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Youth is a season of energy and opportunity. It is a time to build spiritual habits, deepen knowledge of Scripture, grow in self-control, and develop maturity. Because later life brings weight—work, bills, marriage responsibilities, children, and burdens. Patterns built now shape the future home later. A person who builds discipline and holiness while single is preparing to bless a spouse rather than burden one. When is it time to pursue a relationship? A simple answer is this: when you believe you are ready for marriage. That doesn’t mean you must already have everything perfect. But it does mean the goal is clear. If you are not ready to take marriage seriously, you are not ready for a romantic relationship that awakens attachment and temptation. God’s way keeps the goal right: not a game, not entertainment, not attention—but building a home. Practicing what is taught Here are practical steps to apply these principles: Reset the goal:  Don’t pursue relationships for entertainment—pursue marriage only when you are ready to honor it. Invite oversight early:  Involve parents and faithful Christians before emotions take control. Set purity boundaries up front:  Decide how you will honor God in time alone, physical affection, communication, and online interaction. Guard digital intimacy:  Treat texting, DMs, and social media as part of purity—not separate from it. Use your youth for God:  Build habits now—worship, study, service—that will strengthen your future marriage. Reflection questions Am I approaching relationships the way the world does—or the way God’s people should? Have I treated romance like a game, consuming time and emotion without a marriage goal? What boundaries do I need to set to guard purity—physically, emotionally, and digitally? Am I asking “How far can I go?” or “How can I best pursue holiness?” Am I using my youth to pursue God first, building habits that will bless my future spouse and children?

By Al Felder   “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her” (Genesis 29:20). Our society is built around convenience—getting what we want when we want it. Patience is treated like a weakness, and determination is often replaced with shortcuts. But Genesis reminds us that Jacob’s willingness to work and wait was not meaningless; it showed the kind of seriousness marriage deserves. Marriage is not a casual arrangement. It is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and it shapes everything that follows—your spiritual stability, your peace in the home, and the kind of environment your children will be raised in. That means a young woman must be careful, intentional, and wise in choosing a young man. Our culture often sells young women an image: broad-chested, empty-headed, shallow men—overgrown boys dressed up as “real men.” But God’s word gives a different standard. There are things a man must be  before he is qualified to assume the role of a husband and father. This is not an exhaustive list of every virtue that matters, but there are four foundational characteristics  that must be present—or at least clearly developing—before a young man is truly suitable for marriage as God designed it: He must be a Christian . He must be committed to biblical leadership . He must be a protector . He must be a provider . A man who lacks these traits is failing the basic “job description” God laid out for husbands. 1) Look first for a truly Christian young man This point must be handled carefully, as the word  'Christian'  is used lightly today. Many people claim the name while having little understanding of what it means or entails. A Christian is a follower of Christ. That means his life is no longer centered on self, but on Jesus. His beliefs, priorities, moral standards, goals, and decisions are shaped by what God says—not simply by what he prefers. A Christian understands that faith is not lip service. It is obedience, sacrifice, and commitment to bring honor and glory to God (Acts 11:26; 1 Peter 4:16). Why is this the first and most important requirement? Because the husband is called to reflect Christ in the home: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23). A man who does not belong to Christ cannot lead like Christ. He cannot reflect on what he does not follow. And here is the reality many ignore until it is too late: when a Christian joins life with someone who is not truly devoted to God, two opposing spiritual directions exist under one roof. Those directions eventually collide—over worship, modesty, moral boundaries, friendships, entertainment, finances, the training of children, and the home's purpose itself. Scripture asks a simple question: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). Marriage is the most serious partnership on earth. A young woman should not enter it hoping spiritual problems will “work out later.” So the first filter is clear: look for a young man who truly belongs to Christ. 2) Look for a young man committed to biblical leadership Biblical leadership is often misunderstood in two opposite ways. Some men undervalue leadership. They shrink from it, avoid it, and quietly let the wife carry the spiritual load, the emotional load, and often even the financial burden. That is not leadership—it is neglect. Other men overvalue leadership. They turn it into control and act like headship means barking orders while everyone else exists to serve them. That is not biblical leadership either. That is pride. True biblical leadership is rooted in the word of God and shaped by Christ. Scripture says a man must not be a hearer only, but a doer (James 1:23–24). If a man is committed to Scripture, it will show. His character will have visible fruit. A godly leader must also have vision : “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18). Leadership means you are headed somewhere. A man must have a spiritual direction for his life—and eventually for his home. At its most basic level, that direction must include regular Bible reading and prayer. And here is the truth: that will not happen by accident. Family life is demanding. Schedules are full. People rush from work to obligations to chores to exhaustion. If a man has no plan to study Scripture, it will be neglected. A man committed to leadership will intentionally build spiritual structure into life rather than “hoping it happens.” Biblical leadership is also selfless : “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s leadership was a sacrifice. It was patience. It was a restraint. It was a willingness to do what was best for others. One practical indicator of selfishness is how a young man responds to authority. If he refuses to submit to rules and constantly pushes against boundaries—especially in a girlfriend’s home—he is revealing an attitude that does not translate into healthy leadership later. A home cannot be safely led by a man who cannot govern himself. A young woman should also observe his view of children. Scripture places responsibility on fathers: “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). A man should be willing to have children, support children, train children, and discipline children. Watch how he interacts with kids. Does he delight in them? Does he show patience? Or does he treat children as interruptions? A man who is committed to biblical leadership will show it now—not merely promise it later. 3) Look for a young man who is a protector Protection is more than physical strength. It includes spiritual discernment, moral courage, and a willingness to stand in the gap. Genesis offers a sobering lesson in the fall. Eve was deceived, but Adam was held responsible as the leader. God addressed Adam first, showing that leadership carries accountability. A man’s failure to lead is not a small failure—it is a failure that exposes the whole home. A protector understands that the success or failure of the home rests heavily upon him. He does not shift blame to his wife. He does not pass responsibility to others. He recognizes that leadership includes guarding what is entrusted to him. So how can a young woman discern whether a man will be a protector? Is he committed to righteousness?  A man who is careful about his own spiritual life will be careful about the spiritual safety of those under his care. How does he treat the weak?  Does he overlook them, mock them, or use them? Or does he show compassion and responsibility? How does he treat the powerful?  Does he fear men and change his convictions to fit the room? Or does he speak truth with courage? A protector does not have to be loud. He does not have to be aggressive. But he must be brave enough to do what is right when it costs him. 4) Look for a young man who is a provider Scripture is direct: “But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). Provision is not about being rich. It is about being responsible. Biblical manhood is characterized by a willingness to work, a willingness to bear burdens, and a refusal to let the home collapse under neglect. This also means a man must have the maturity to resist society’s pressure to chase endless accumulation. A provider is not a workaholic who sacrifices his family on the altar of money. That is not provision—it is abandonment with a paycheck. A true provider works to meet the family's basic needs and build stability in the home. And one of the greatest forms of provision a man can offer is the kind that many people no longer value: the ability for his wife to guide the home.  A man who embraces his role makes it possible for his wife to embrace hers. Practicing what is taught If you’re a young woman trying to apply these principles in real life, here are practical steps that bring clarity: Use the four foundations as non-negotiables.  Don’t date, hoping someone becomes what he is not currently striving to be. Watch patterns more than promises.  Words are easy; consistent character is rare. Pay attention to his relationship with authority.  A man who cannot control himself will not lead a home well. Observe his faith in ordinary life.  Does he love worship? Is he serious about holiness? Is he disciplined in speech and conduct? Have honest conversations early.  What does he believe about marriage roles, children, discipline, modesty, and spiritual priorities?

By Al Felder “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Our world knows the value of preparation. If a man wants to enter a trade, profession, or even a hobby seriously, he is expected to learn, train, and prepare. Yet one of the most important commitments a man can ever make—marriage—is often entered with little thought beyond feelings, attraction, and convenience. That is backwards. Marriage is not something a man should “figure out later.” A wise young man prepares for it before he ever stands at the altar. And the only reliable place to learn what a wife must be—and what a husband must be—is the word of God. If you want a godly home, you must start with a godly foundation. And if it is true that a woman becomes the heart of the home, then a young man must ask a serious question before he gives his heart away: What kind of heart do I want my home to have? Not a heart shaped by the world’s confusion. Not a heart driven by rebellion, pride, and sensuality. But a heart shaped by Christ. So what should a young man look for? There are many qualities that matter, but four characteristics are so foundational that a woman must have them—at least be clearly developing them—before she is truly qualified for the role of wife and mother as God designed it. 1) Look first for a truly Christian young woman This must be the first filter. Not “religious.” Not “spiritual.” Not “goes to church sometimes.” Not “claims the name.” A Christian is a follower of Christ—someone who has denied self and submitted to the authority of Jesus. The name itself implies ownership: Christ rules life. That matters because God’s design for the home requires submission to Christ before  submission to a husband can be meaningful. Scripture says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). A woman who has not first submitted to the Lord will not consistently submit to her husband in the way God intends—especially when it costs her pride, preference, or comfort. This is also why the spiritual direction of a home cannot be stable when two opposing masters are present. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). Marriage is a partnership, and partnerships fail when two people are building two different lives. A young man should think soberly: if the spiritual “heart” of the home is not godly, how will the home ever be godly? 2) Look for a young woman who uses her single years to grow in God’s ways This is where many young people miss the value of youth. The single years are a unique season. Responsibilities are generally fewer. Time can be invested more freely. And that season can become a powerful period of growth—if it is used wisely. Scripture emphasizes the value of faithful youth: “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example… in word… in charity… in faith… in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). A young woman who uses her life to learn Scripture, develop spiritual habits, serve others, and deepen her commitment to Christ is preparing for the roles she will one day fill. A woman does not become a godly wife and mother by accident. She becomes that way by devotion to God long before marriage. A young man should look for evidence of this devotion: Does she take worship seriously—or treat it casually? Does she love God’s people—or merely tolerate them? Does she pursue spiritual growth—or only entertainment and attention? Does she care about purity—or flirt with temptation? Marriage will not improve spiritual immaturity. It usually magnifies it. So don’t ignore what you see now. 3) Look for a young woman who respects biblical leadership This is not about a man seeking a woman he can dominate. God condemns harshness and selfish control. Biblical leadership is sacrifice, responsibility, and love. But the home cannot function according to God’s order without a wife who respects that order. “The head of the woman is the man” (1 Corinthians 11:3).“And the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1). A wife can help a man build a godly home—or she can constantly tear down everything he tries to build. The difference often lies in her attitude toward authority and her willingness to submit to God’s design. One practical way to discern this is to look at how she treats her parents. If she is rebellious toward the authority God placed over her in her youth, she is showing a deeper issue with authority itself. And if she resents authority now, she will likely resent it later. A home does not need a heart of contention. It needs a heart of joyful service to Christ. 4) Look for a young woman willing to make the home a priority God designed the home to be nurtured, guided, managed, protected, and strengthened. That work does not happen automatically. It happens because someone makes the home a priority. Scripture presents the home as a sacred assignment, not a side project. A wife may have many skills and capabilities—Proverbs 31 shows a woman who is industrious and productive in many ways. But even there, the center of her labor is clear: her family and her household are served by everything she does. A young man should understand something simple but weighty: The greatest gift you can give your children is not more money. It is a godly home. And a godly home requires a wife who values her role, embraces it with dignity, and places family above the world’s applause. This does not reduce womanhood—it elevates it. It honors God’s design. And it provides children with the stability they desperately need. Common confusion: the world’s “woman” vs. God’s “woman” Young men today often feel confused because the world parades a distorted picture of femininity: immodesty treated as empowerment, aggression treated as strength, loudness treated as confidence, and spiritual immaturity treated as normal. But God’s picture is different: modesty with dignity strength with gentleness wisdom with humility purity with conviction service with joy So a young man must decide early: Will I choose by the world’s standards—or by God’s? A simple checklist for a wise young man Before you pursue a relationship, ask: Is she truly devoted to Christ—or merely familiar with religious language? Does she show evidence of spiritual growth and maturity? Does she respect God’s pattern for leadership and authority? Does she value the home as a sacred responsibility? Do her habits, clothing, speech, friendships, and goals point toward holiness—or toward the world? If the answer is unclear, slow down. Emotions can move faster than wisdom. Practicing what is taught Here are practical ways a young man can apply these principles immediately: Prepare yourself first.  Become the kind of man a godly woman should want—faithful, pure, responsible, steady, and devoted to Christ. Refuse to “date for fun.”  Only pursue relationships with purpose and purity. Ask harder questions early.  Don’t wait months to find out what she believes about worship, marriage roles, modesty, and raising children. Watch her patterns, not her promises.  Words are easy. Consistency reveals character. Seek counsel from faithful Christians.  Pride isolates. Wisdom listens.

By Al Felder   “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Picture the man you want your son to become. You can imagine the externals—his job, the home he lives in, the hobbies he enjoys, the accomplishments he achieves. Then strip all that away. Remove the career, possessions, titles, and status symbols. What do you hope remains? What you find underneath is what matters most: character . When hard pressure comes, will he show courage or compromise? When he faces temptation, will he stand firm or drift with the crowd? When he becomes a husband and a father, will he put his family first—or himself? If we want our boys to become men we respect—men of character—then we must raise them with a clear vision and a deliberate plan. Because the world is not neutral. The world is forming boys every day. The world is attacking what it means to be a man Our culture often portrays men as shallow, foolish, driven by lust, and incapable of leadership. Boys are fed this picture so often that many begin to believe it is normal. On top of that, boys are surrounded by constant sexual messaging—often disguised as comedy, entertainment, and “just jokes.” The effect is not harmless. Every time a boy consumes that filth, something shifts inside him. His view of women becomes distorted, and his view of purity becomes cheapened. Jesus warned that “the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches” can choke the word so that a person becomes unfruitful (Matthew 13:22). The world is after our boys. If we allow it, it will feed them a false definition of masculinity and quietly suffocate faith before it ever has the chance to grow deep roots. And if we do nothing, the world will train them for us. Boys need fathers who lead God placed spiritual leadership in the home on the shoulders of fathers: “Ye fathers… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). That means fathers are not optional accessories in the development of sons. A father is meant to be a steady guide—someone who teaches, corrects, models, and leads. A boy’s world is shaped by his father. In a son’s eyes, his dad is often the source of the “right answers.” He sets rules because he knows the rules. He disciplines because he understands consequences. He leads because God gave him that responsibility. When a father invests time, attention, affection, and approval, a boy learns, “I matter.” And that sense of being valued stabilizes him. It strengthens him against temptation. It helps him resist the shallow voices of society. It gives him confidence without arrogance and strength without cruelty. Many parents try to give boys happiness through things—clothes, money, toys, the newest technology, nonstop activities, and constant entertainment. But the greatest thing boys need more of is not stuff. They need us.  They need life beside their fathers. Start with God: the anchor every boy needs A boy needs an ultimate authority bigger than himself. Teaching him about God gives him an anchor—purpose, direction, and a foundation for moral clarity. Scripture says it plainly: “Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13). That truth answers life’s biggest questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What is right and wrong? What should I do when no one is watching? What do I do with guilt? Where do I find forgiveness? What is my purpose? Boys have a hunger for meaning. If we don’t fill that hunger with God, the world will fill it with counterfeits—power, lust, entertainment, ego, and pride. That is why the best time to teach is when they are young and receptive. Teach them what you believe and why you believe it from Scripture. Build moral structure early. If that structure isn’t built, other things will take its place later—and those things will not lead your son toward righteousness. And this requires sacrifice. Many homes grow spiritually weak for simple reasons: people are tired, schedules are full, and spiritual routine gets pushed to the back burner. But religious ignorance robs boys of the answers they desperately need. If you want the best for your son, teach him about God. Refuse to excuse bad behavior—teach accountability One of the worst parenting traps is making excuses for a boy’s wrong choices. It can sound like this: “If the teacher understood him, he’d do better.” “If other people weren’t so unfair, he wouldn’t get in trouble.” “It wasn’t really his fault.” That mindset teaches a boy that responsibility belongs to everyone else. Accountability is one of the main pillars of manhood. A godly man owns his choices. He doesn’t play the victim. He doesn’t blame the world. He doesn’t hide behind excuses. If he does wrong, he faces it, corrects it, and learns from it. Scripture gives a sobering warning in the example of Eli. He was a judge of Israel and a man who should have known better. But he tolerated and minimized his sons' sins, and their corruption brought severe consequences. The lesson is clear: when a father ignores wrong or excuses it, he helps shape the very behavior he claims to hate. So teach your son to say three words that build a man: “I was wrong.” Then teach him the next three words: “I’ll do right.” Teach integrity: truthfulness as a masculine virtue Young boys often have a strong conscience. When they lie, their face gives them away. They feel the tension because they know deception is weakness. God’s word is direct: “Lie not one to another” (Colossians 3:9). Lying does more than break a rule. It damages a boy’s soul. It trains him to evade the truth rather than stand in it. Parents also make a serious mistake when they teach “white lies.” When adults encourage a boy to bend the truth for convenience, they throw his moral compass off. He begins to believe honesty is optional—something you practice when it benefits you. That is how integrity dies. Honesty is honorable. It builds trust. It makes a man dependable. And dependable men are rare and valuable. If you want your son to become a strong man, train him to be truthful even when it costs him. Teach courage: the strength that puts all other virtues into action Courage is what makes a boy willing to do right under pressure. God once looked for someone who would “stand in the gap,” but He found none (Ezekiel 22:30). The absence of courage always leads to collapse. Because courage is what activates the rest: Integrity needs courage to speak the truth. Humility needs courage to admit fault. Kindness needs courage to resist cruelty. Purity needs courage to say no. Boys face constant pressure to fit the mold society creates. But a boy who does right when pushed knows something powerful: he can control himself.  That self-mastery becomes honor and self-respect—the kind that doesn’t depend on applause. Teach humility: strength without superiority Humility is balance. It is the ability to see yourself accurately—valuable, but not more valuable than others. Scripture calls God’s people to “humbleness of mind” and “meekness” (Colossians 3:12). A boy who believes he is superior will eventually crush others—especially those closest to him. That kind of pride isolates a man. It breeds loneliness, anger, and self-destruction. Humble boys are different. They can rejoice in others’ success. They can show mercy to weakness. They can be friends without always competing. And humility naturally produces respect—toward parents, teachers, elders, women, and peers. Humility doesn’t make a boy weak. It makes him stable. Teach meekness: power under control Meekness is not frailty. Meekness is constrained power . A true picture of meekness is not a weak man who can’t fight. It is a strong man who can —but chooses control. He has strength, energy, drive, and ability, but his power is harnessed and guided. This is where discipline matters. Boys must learn that uncontrolled anger, reckless aggression, and harmful behavior bring consequences. A boy learns self-control when he understands that wrong actions collide with a stronger force—parental authority and correction. Over time, that external restraint becomes internal restraint. A meek man is not a man who lacks power. He is a man who has learned to govern it. Teach kindness: the virtue that strengthens a man Many people treat kindness as softness. Scripture treats it as strength. A kind boy grows into a man who becomes a better friend, a stronger husband, and a steadier leader because he doesn’t live for himself alone. Kindness trains a man to consider burdens beyond his own. It deepens compassion. It matures relationships. One practical way to develop kindness early is to train a boy’s tongue. Teach him to speak well of others rather than tear them down. Our culture thrives on mockery. It runs on insults, sarcasm, and humiliation. But speech and behavior walk together. When you train a boy to speak with respect, you are training him to treat people with respect. Train his tongue, and over time, you shape his thinking. The real goal: who he becomes, not what he achieves Happiness in young men does not come from jumping higher, being more popular, or winning more trophies. It comes from solid character. Your son needs to know what you think of him beneath all the “stuff.” Do you respect who he is becoming? Do you praise his integrity more than his performance? Do you value his humility more than his image? Boys become what they are praised for. You cannot control every circumstance your son will face. But you can shape the foundation he stands on. You can teach him who he should be according to God’s word. And the simplest commitment that would change many homes is this: give your son more of you.  Not just your paycheck. Not just your rules. Not just your corrections. Give him your time—life beside you—so he can learn what manhood looks like in a godly home. Practicing what is taught Here are a few simple ways to apply these principles this week: Schedule a father-son hour  (or two): no phone, no distractions—just time together. Start a short daily Bible habit : read one chapter, discuss one point, and pray briefly. Build one character focus for the week  (integrity, courage, humility, etc.). Define it, talk about it, watch for it, and praise it when you see it. Correct excuses immediately : replace blame with responsibility—“What could you have done differently?” Train the tongue : require respectful speech about siblings, teachers, teammates, and girls. Small steps repeated faithfully create big results over time.

By Al Felder “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). God appointed the man to be the head of the family unit—not for selfish control, but for responsibility, sacrifice, and spiritual leadership. And one of the most overlooked places that leadership must show itself is in a father’s relationship with his daughter. Strong fathers are needed to raise strong daughters. And if we want our little girls to grow into godly women, we must understand a sobering truth: it starts with us.   The world is discipling your daughter—every day Our daughters face a constant stream of pressure from popular culture. From the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed, she is surrounded by images and messages telling her how she should look, what she should wear, and how she should behave to be “acceptable.” The world places burdens on girls that many are not emotionally prepared to carry. It promotes sensuality early, expects compliance, and then leaves behind the wreckage—eating disorders, depression, and worst of all, a life without God. And that leads to a hard but necessary point: there is often one major barrier standing between your daughter and that attack on her soul— you . Fathers can change the course of their daughters’ lives. 1) Teach her who God is—because you shape her first view of Him A daughter’s earliest understanding of God is often drawn from her understanding of her father. Jesus even used the image of an earthly father to help people understand the goodness of the heavenly Father (Matthew 7:11). That should make every father pause. As your daughter is told she has a heavenly Father, she will use what she knows about fatherhood  to process that truth. That means the way we live—our patience, our temper, our consistency, our gentleness, our integrity—will shape her first thoughts about God. This is why being a good dad is not mainly about hobbies, money, or even personality—it is about godliness. Fathers must be committed to studying God’s word and molding their lives into the image of Christ. And yes, even godly fathers fail at times. We may lose our temper, miss moments that mattered, or neglect the attention our daughter needed. Those wounds can be mended. But in those moments, she must also learn a deeper lesson: when daddy isn’t everything he should be, there is Someone stronger, wiser, and perfectly faithful—her heavenly Father. 2) Make God part of everyday life Spiritual instruction is not meant to be occasional. God told Israel to teach His ways as part of their daily routine—when sitting at home, walking by the way, lying down, and rising up (Deuteronomy 6:7). The principle is simple: seize ordinary moments to teach eternal truths. A father should speak about God naturally and regularly—because daughters need to know that God loves them, that He has a plan of redemption, and that forgiveness is real when repentance is real. 3) Be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry Every man who enters your daughter’s life will be filtered through her relationship with you. The qualities you display will become the qualities she looks for in a man. In a very real sense, you are her first love. So show her what a husband and father should be. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). A man’s role is described as a sacrifice. Christ gave Himself for the church’s welfare. Likewise, husbands and fathers must give themselves for the welfare of their family—time, attention, leadership, service, and protection. Too often, men shift this burden onto wives—expecting her to carry the emotional and relational weight until she has nothing left. But God’s pattern places responsibility on the man. And a family will be as strong or as weak spiritually as the father’s leadership. 4) Spend time with her—because time builds strength If you want your daughter to be strong, you must be present. Spend time with her. Eat meals together. Invite her into what you enjoy. Step into what she enjoys. Work together. Do chores together. Just be together. A powerful point is made through a study discussed in the lesson: one of the key treatment methods used by psychologists helping girls with eating disorders is increasing the time spent with their fathers. That doesn’t mean fathers are “to blame” for every struggle a daughter faces. But it does reveal something important: the father-daughter relationship is crucial to a girl’s self-esteem. If your daughter feels beautiful in your eyes, she has the strength to withstand the world’s pressure. 5) Live with integrity—nothing meaningful is built on secrets A father must be honest and dependable. A man of integrity inspires trust. When you give your word, it should be sure. Integrity also means no secret life. Secrecy is often tied to sin, and sin isolates. Whether it is pornography, an online relationship, or any hidden compromise, secrecy robs the family of time, attention, affection, and trust. And it teaches your daughter the wrong expectations for marriage. Raise her to expect a husband with nothing to hide. 6) Teach contentment—so she learns where real joy is “Better is little with fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith” (Proverbs 15:16). If your daughter sees you always chasing “more,” she may believe that deep joy requires bigger houses, higher pay, more possessions, and constant upgrades. That mindset can produce dissatisfaction—first with things, then with people. Show her a better foundation: love God, love people, and find contentment in what cannot be taken away. Even if material things disappear, life remains worth living in Christ. 7) Teach humility and set boundaries A father must instill humility—self-restraint, responsibility, and consideration for others. Popular culture often plants the destructive belief that a girl “deserves more,” that life should orbit around her. Yes, fathers naturally see their little girls as precious. But indulgence without limits can raise a “princess” mindset that harms future marriage and motherhood. So set boundaries. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Proverbs 22:15). Clear boundaries give moral foundation and teach a daughter that she fits into the family—that the family does not orbit around her. In time, she learns to set boundaries for herself. Conclusion: fight for the relationship A father must open his eyes to his daughter’s world—and fight to save their relationship. There will be stages where she challenges you or acts as if she doesn’t care. But she does. She wants to know how much you are willing to fight for her. Keep her connected. Keep building the bond. Keep being present. Keep spending time. And if you do your job well, one day she will choose another good man to love her and protect her. But he will never replace you in her heart—because you were there first.