Diligent Dads

By Al Felder 

“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children… when thou sittest… when thou walkest… when thou liest down… when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:6–9).

God never intended for children to be raised on spiritual leftovers. He commanded that His word be taught diligently—with care, persistence, and daily intention.

And if anyone should lead this work in the home, it is the father. Children need diligent dads to become the men and women God intends them to be.

Yet one of the greatest ills in our society is the absence of spiritual leadership by fathers. In many homes, training is often carried out solely by the mother, while fathers neglect their role as head of the family and abandon their responsibilities.

Even worse, many fathers do not know how to lead. It is as if the knowledge of biblical headship had not been transmitted from generation to generation, leaving men with little understanding of family structure or how to fulfill their God-given role.

When the pattern is broken, chaos follows.

God’s order makes fathers responsible to lead

Scripture points back to the creation order to establish role responsibility: “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1 Timothy 2:13).

This is not about value—both are made in God’s image—but about responsibility. God gave the man the charge of leadership in the home.

Genesis reinforces this when God gave the command about the tree to Adam before Eve was created (Genesis 2:16–17). God did not repeat the command after Eve’s creation, revealing that God expected Adam to teach Eve and fulfill his role as head of the family.

Then God commanded the man and woman to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28).

The purpose of the family is larger than survival or comfort—it is meant to spread God’s glory over the face of the earth.

The prophet Malachi exposed what happens when family structure collapses. God rebuked Israel for dealing treacherously with the wife of their covenant and reminded them that He made the husband and wife one so that He might seek a godly seed (Malachi 2:14–15).

When the covenant breaks, the fruit suffers. When the marriage bond is dishonored, the next generation is weakened.

God is a God of order. Without order, there is confusion and disorganization.

And Scripture shows order not only in the home, but even in the Godhead: “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3).

That order exists so God’s purposes can be accomplished.

Spiritual leadership at home is foundational to leadership in the church

One of the most evident proofs of the importance of fatherly leadership is found in the qualifications for elders:

“One that ruleth well his own house… For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:4–5).

The most important office in the local church requires a man who leads his household in the ways of God. Home leadership is not optional. It is foundational.

And Scripture addresses fathers directly: “Ye fathers… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

That is not a general statement aimed at “parents” in the abstract. It is pointed at fathers.

A father is the authority figure in the home, and that makes his conduct extremely influential. If he is harsh and critical, children may resent him. If he is absent, they may have no authority figure to respect. Either way, children can lose respect for authority—and ultimately lose respect for God.

Children watch their father closely—his moods, body language, and tone of voice—trying to answer a question they may never speak out loud: How does my dad feel about me? 

When a father’s approval is absent, a child will look for validation elsewhere.

The crisis is real—and the need is urgent

The need for diligent dads is not a theory. It is visible all around us. The text references sobering statistics: millions of men claim no faith in Christ; many children grow up without their biological father; large portions of prison populations grew up without a father figure.

Whatever else those numbers mean, they should shake us awake to this truth: we need men to be diligent dads and fulfill the role God has given them. 

The right starting point is the father

This is where many families go wrong—they try everything to fix the spiritual condition of children except the place God began: the father.

The responsibility is not to be outsourced.

A pointed statement is included from Voddie Baucham, Jr.: fathers—not church programs or ministers created to fill the void—are charged with discipling the next generation.

God placed this work in the home and its leadership on the shoulders of the father.

Three honest evaluations every father must make

1) What defines me?

In our culture, many men define themselves by career. But Scripture gives a different perspective: “If any provide not for his own… he hath denied the faith” (1 Timothy 5:8).

A career exists to serve the family—not to replace the family. It doesn’t define a man. A man is determined by how he fulfills his God-given role and how he relates to the members of his household.

2) How do I use my time?

“Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16).

Every father should honestly assess his weekly time: time at work, entertainment, recreation, leisure, time with family, and time in God’s word. Too often, the most critical areas get the least attention.

If we aren’t purposeful, society will gladly fill our schedules until our children are grown and gone, and regret settles in.

3) Do I truly love the church?

“I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord” (Psalm 122:1).

If a father is unenthused about the church and indifferent toward serving God, his family will likely absorb the same attitude. But when a father is passionate and joyful about worship, that zeal becomes contagious in the home.

The path forward: pray, study, and lead

After honest evaluation, the following steps are not complicated—but they require resolve.

Pray for your family and with your family

“Pray one for another… The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16).

Prayer is powerful because it is communion with God. A father should feel the weight of eternity when he thinks about his children. The desire to see them converted should stir deep emotion and deep urgency.

Study the Bible—personally and together

“As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2).

Start simple if you must. Read a passage and talk about it. Study a chapter. Choose a topic and examine what Scripture says. As knowledge grows, confidence grows.

Build family Bible time into ordinary life:

• a scheduled weekly study,

• assigning verses to read or memorize,

• talking about Scripture while driving, doing chores, or sharing family time.

Make the Bible part of the home’s daily rhythm.

Do it—even if you don’t feel ready

Are you going to have all the answers? No. Are you going to make mistakes? Yes. But the best way to fail as a father is to do nothing.

And if you feel untrained or without a model, Scripture provides a solution: “Commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2). Seek guidance from a faithful man, learn, and then lead.

Excuses end here. God has spoken. The future is our responsibility.