What God Has Joined Together

Recovering God’s design for marriage in a disposable age

Jesus said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4–6). That single statement cuts through centuries of cultural confusion. Marriage is not a contract we adjust when it becomes inconvenient—it is a covenant God designed “at the beginning.”

In Matthew 19, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with a question that sounds familiar today: “Is it lawful…for every cause?” In other words—Can I end my marriage whenever I decide I’m done? Jesus refused to start the conversation with modern opinions or rabbinic loopholes. He went back to creation because if we don’t understand God’s original design, we will never understand God’s boundaries.

1) Marriage begins in creation, not culture

Jesus anchored marriage in what God established “at the beginning”: male and female, leaving father and mother, cleaving to one’s spouse, and becoming “one flesh” (Matthew 19:4–6).

That matters because the more a society normalizes divorce, the more people lose the proper view of marriage. Even the disciples—after hearing Jesus’ strict standard—reacted with shock: “If the case…be so… it is not good to marry” (Matt. 19:10). Their reaction shows how far divorce culture had already shaped how people thought.

2) Why did Moses speak about divorce at all?

The Pharisees asked, “Why did Moses then command…a writing of divorcement?” Jesus answered plainly: “Because of the hardness of your hearts.” 

In other words, divorce regulation in the Law was not a celebration of divorce—it was restraint in a fallen world. But Jesus did not merely restate what “people allowed.” He tightened the practice by restoring God’s intention: marriage is meant to be permanent, faithful, and honored.

3) Jesus’ exception clause: what Matthew 19:9 actually says

Matthew 19:9 is one of the most important passages in the New Testament on divorce and remarriage, because it includes what many call the “exception clause”: “except it be for fornication.” 

“Put away” is divorce—not mere distance

The word translated “put away” is ἀπολύω (apolyō)—to release, dismiss, or divorce—used in the New Testament for formal divorce.

That matters because some try to blur the lines between separation, desertion, and divorce. Jesus is addressing divorce as an act.

The exception: πορνεία (porneia)

Jesus’ exception uses πορνεία (porneia)—a broad term for sexual immorality.

Porneia is broader than the specific word for adultery (μοιχεία, moicheia) and can include a serious sexual breach of the covenant relationship.

Why might Jesus use porneia instead of the narrower term? Because of the Jewish betrothal context (Matthew 1:19) and the inclusive scope of porneia.

The core conclusion

Jesus affirms the permanence of marriage—and teaches that divorce and remarriage outside the God-given exception result in adultery.

4) The “great mystery”: marriage displays Christ and the church

Marriage is not only about companionship or family life (as important as those are). Scripture says marriage points to something bigger:

“This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31–32).

The highest purpose of marriage is to put on display the covenant relationship of Christ and His church—faithful love, committed sacrifice, and enduring unity.

Christ has one bride. He does not abandon her. He does not divide His affections. In the same way, marriage is meant to be singular and sacred.

5) What about separation? 1 Corinthians 7:11

The New Testament also addresses a real-world situation: conflict so severe that spouses may live apart. Paul writes:

“If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11).

The Greek word for “depart” (χωρίζω, chōrizō)—to separate or withdraw—is not the technical word for divorce used in Matthew 19:9, but it can mean divorce.

So what are the biblical options when separation happens?

1. Remain unmarried

2. Be reconciled

And “be reconciled” connects to καταλλάσσω (katallassō)—restoring fellowship and replacing hostility with peace.

Separation does not dissolve the marriage bond; reconciliation is God’s preferred path wherever repentance and change are possible.

6) Mixed marriages: believer + unbeliever

God’s ideal is spiritual unity, yet Scripture also addresses cases in which one spouse is not a Christian. Paul teaches that if the unbelieving spouse is willing to dwell with the believer, the believer must not seek divorce simply because of differing faith.

And God can use faithful conduct as a powerful witness (1 Peter 3:1–2).

7) “Not under bondage” in 1 Corinthians 7:15

A major question arises when an unbeliever leaves: Is the Christian then free to remarry? Consider the wording:

• “Not under bondage” uses δέδουλωται (dedoulōtai) from δουλόω (douloō)—to enslave.

• When Paul speaks of being “bound” in marriage, he uses a different verb (δέω).

1 Corinthians 7:15 does not dissolve the marriage bond; it teaches that the believer is not enslaved to chase, fight, or be tormented by the departing spouse. God has called us to peace—but that is not the same thing as permission to remarry.

8) Practical applications for believers today

If marriage is a covenant meant to reflect Christ and His church, then honoring marriage is not optional Christianity—it is discipleship.

Here are a few grounded steps that flow from the sermon’s message:

• Recover reverence for what marriage is. Treat it as holy, not casual.

• Reject “every cause” divorce thinking. Don’t let convenience become your authority.

• Pursue repentance and reconciliation when possible. God’s will is permanence, faithfulness, and restored peace.

• In mixed marriages, lead with godly conduct. A faithful example often speaks louder than arguments.

• Remember the “why.” Marriage is designed to display covenant love—Christlike sacrifice, steadfast loyalty, and holiness.

Closing: honor what God joined

God designed marriage for companionship, moral purity, spiritual growth, and gospel reflection—blessings that flourish best in the marriage God instituted.

That’s why Jesus’ command still stands: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”