What Is the Most Important Thing Parents Can Teach Their Children?

By Al Felder

Parents teach many important things. Children need to learn obedience, truthfulness, kindness, responsibility, modesty, self-control, gratitude, prayer, worship, work, forgiveness, and respect for authority. They need to learn how to choose friends, guard their hearts, receive correction, serve others, and stand apart from the world. They need to learn about sin, salvation, death, judgment, marriage, the home, and the church. All of these lessons matter, but if we had to gather them into one great lesson, it would be this: children must learn to love God, obey His word, and live for eternity. That is the foundation beneath every other lesson.

Jesus said, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind’” (Matthew 22:37). This is not a small command. It is the great commandment. It reaches the heart, soul, mind, will, desires, priorities, choices, and direction of life. Parents must teach their children that life is not about themselves. It is not about popularity, pleasure, success, possessions, sports, entertainment, money, or earthly achievement. Life belongs to God.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.” That is the lesson children need most.

Children Must Learn Who God Is

Children cannot love God rightly if they do not know who He is. Parents must teach children that God is the Creator. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1). They must learn that life did not happen by accident. Man did not make himself. Every person exists because God made him.

They must learn that God is holy. He is not like man. He is pure, righteous, true, and worthy of reverence. First Peter 1:16 says, “Be holy, for I am holy.” Children need to know that God’s holiness means sin is serious and worship must be reverent.

They must learn that God is good. Psalm 136:1 says, “Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!” Children should not think of God only as the One who gives rules. He gives life, blessings, mercy, truth, hope, and salvation. They must learn that God is just. He will judge the world in righteousness. No sin is hidden from Him. No person escapes accountability. They must learn that God is merciful. He sent His Son so sinners could be saved. The most important lessons begin with the knowledge of God.

Children Must Learn to Fear the Lord

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs 1:7 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Parents who want wise children must teach reverence for God. Without that reverence, children may become educated, talented, successful, and confident, but still foolish in the things that matter most. The fear of the Lord teaches children humility. It teaches them that they are not the center of the universe. It teaches them that feelings do not rule truth. It teaches them that human opinion does not overrule God’s word.

The fear of the Lord also teaches obedience. Children need to understand that God’s commandments are not suggestions. Ecclesiastes 12:13 joins fear and obedience together: “Fear God and keep His commandments.” Parents should not train children to obey only when consequences are immediate. They should teach them to obey because God is worthy of reverence. A child who fears the Lord has a foundation for every other lesson in life.

Children Must Learn That God’s Word Is Final

The most important thing parents can teach their children is this settled conviction: God’s word is the final authority. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Children need this lamp because the world is dark with confusion. They will hear many voices, but only God’s word can guide the soul safely.

Parents must teach children to ask, “What does the Bible say?”

When the question is about worship, ask what the Bible says.

When the question is about salvation, ask what the Bible says.

When the question is about modesty, ask what the Bible says.

When the question is about marriage, ask what the Bible says.

When the question is about sin, ask what the Bible says.

When the question is about the church, ask what the Bible says.

Second Timothy 3:16-17 teaches that Scripture is inspired by God and equips man for every good work. Children must learn that the Bible is not merely a religious book among many books. It is the word of God. If children learn to honor Scripture, they will have a standard that does not change when culture changes.

Children Must Learn to Love Truth

Knowing the truth is not enough. Children must love it. Second Thessalonians 2:10 warns of those who perish because “they did not receive the love of the truth.” That phrase should sober every parent. A child may hear the truth often and still grow to prefer the world. He may know what is right and still choose popularity, pleasure, comfort, or self-will.

Parents must teach children that truth is good because God is good. Jesus said, “Your word is truth” (John 17:17). Truth sanctifies. Truth corrects. Truth protects. Truth exposes sin. Truth points to Christ. Truth prepares the soul for judgment. Children should learn to love truth even when it corrects them. They should not love the truth only when it proves someone else wrong. They should love it when it exposes their own sin, calls them to repent, and teaches them to change. A child who loves truth is better prepared to obey God from the heart.

Children Must Learn the Seriousness of Sin

Children must learn that sin is real. The world often renames sin to make it sound harmless, but God defines sin. First John 3:4 says, “Sin is lawlessness.” Sin is not merely a mistake. It is not merely an unfortunate choice. It is acting against God’s will. Parents must teach children that sin separates man from God. Isaiah 59:2 says, “But your iniquities have separated you from your God.” That is why sin must never be treated lightly.

Children should learn that they are accountable for their own choices. They are not born guilty of Adam’s sin, but when they become accountable and choose sin, guilt is personal. Ezekiel 18:20 says, “The son shall not bear the guilt of the father.” They must also learn that sin often begins in the heart. Pride, envy, lust, bitterness, selfishness, and rebellion can grow inside long before they appear outwardly. Parents who love their children will teach them to hate sin and love righteousness.

Children Must Learn the Gospel of Christ

The greatest message parents can teach is the gospel. Jesus came to save the lost (Luke 19:10). He died for our sins, was buried, and rose again the third day according to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). Salvation is not found in human goodness, family tradition, or popular religious teaching. Salvation is found in Christ.

Children must learn to believe that Jesus is the Son of God. They must learn that faith comes by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17). They must learn that sinners must repent (Luke 13:3; Acts 2:38). They must learn to confess Christ (Romans 10:10). They must learn that baptism is for the remission of sins. Jesus said, “He who believes and is baptized will be saved” (Mark 16:16). Peter said, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins” (Acts 2:38). Ananias told Saul, “Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord” (Acts 22:16).

Parents should teach this patiently and clearly. They should not pressure young children into actions they do not understand, but they must not hide or soften the gospel. When children become accountable, they need to know what God has said. No lesson is more important than salvation in Christ.

Children Must Learn That Obedience Matters

Some people speak as though obedience is opposed to grace. That is not true.

Obedience does not earn salvation. It does not put God in man’s debt. It does not make man the author of his own redemption. Salvation is by God’s grace through faith, but biblical faith obeys. Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Hebrews 5:9 says Christ is “the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him.” Obedience matters because Christ is Lord.

Children need to learn this balance early.

Obedience is not boasting.

Obedience is not earning.

Obedience is not legalism when God commands it.

Obedience is humble submission to the will of God.

Luke 17:10 reminds servants that after doing what is commanded, they should say, “We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.” Parents should teach children to obey without pride and trust grace without rebellion.

Children Must Learn to Live for Eternity

Parents must teach children that this life is temporary. James 4:14 says life is “a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” Children may not fully grasp that truth when they are young, but they can begin to learn that earthly things do not last forever.

Toys break.

Money is spent.

Beauty fades.

Popularity changes.

Bodies grow old.

Life passes quickly.

But the soul continues.

Hebrews 9:27 says, “And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.” Children need to learn that every soul will stand before God. This truth should not be used to terrify them, but it must sober them. Parents should ask the question Jesus asked: “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Matthew 16:26). A child may gain education, wealth, success, recognition, and comfort, but if he loses his soul, he has lost everything. Parents must keep eternity before their children.

Children Must See These Truths Lived at Home

Parents cannot teach the most important lesson by words alone. Children must see it lived.

They should see parents pray.

They should see parents worship reverently.

They should hear Scripture in the home.

They should see repentance when parents are wrong.

They should see father and mother love one another according to God’s design.

They should see the church treated as precious.

They should see modesty, kindness, forgiveness, truthfulness, and self-control practiced.

They should see that God is not merely discussed, but obeyed.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 gives a picture of God’s words being taught diligently to children in the daily rhythm of life. Parents teach when they sit in the house, walk by the way, lie down, and rise up. Spiritual instruction belongs in ordinary moments. The home should make it clear that God comes first.

Children Must Learn That Faith Is Personal

Children may be raised around truth, but they must eventually make faith their own. Parents cannot obey the gospel for their children. They cannot repent for them. They cannot confess Christ for them. They cannot be baptized for them. They cannot live faithfully in their place. Each soul must answer to God. Romans 14:12 says, “So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.” Parents must therefore teach children toward personal conviction, not mere family habit.

Children need to know why they believe.

They need to understand Scripture.

They need to ask honest questions.

They need to learn how to study.

They need to develop a conscience shaped by God’s word.

They need to love truth for themselves.

Parents may plant and water, but the child must choose whether to serve the Lord. Joshua said, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15). Parents should lead the house, but children must eventually choose whether they will continue in the Lord’s way.

Children Must Learn That God’s Way Is Good

Parents should not present serving God as a miserable life. Yes, discipleship requires sacrifice. Yes, obedience may cost something. Yes, standing apart from the world can be difficult, but God’s way is good. First John 5:3 says, “His commandments are not burdensome.” God’s commands are not given to harm man. They protect, guide, correct, and bless.

Children should see joy in serving God.

They should see gratitude in worship.

They should see peace in obedience.

They should see beauty in holiness.

They should see strength in self-control.

They should see love in the church.

They should see hope in Christ.

If children only hear what they cannot do, but never see why God’s way is good, they may misunderstand faithfulness. Parents must teach both warning and beauty, both seriousness and joy. God’s way is right, and God’s way is good.

The Greatest Lesson Holds All the Others Together

Every lesson in this series connects to this one.

Teach children to obey because God has authority.

Teach them truthfulness because God is true.

Teach them kindness because God is good.

Teach them forgiveness because God is merciful.

Teach them modesty because God calls His people to purity.

Teach them self-control because disciples must deny themselves.

Teach them about worship because God must be honored.

Teach them about the church because Christ purchased it with His blood.

Teach them marriage and the home because God designed them.

Teach them consequences because God is not mocked.

Teach them death and judgment because eternity is real.

Teach them salvation because Christ is the only Savior.

Everything comes back to God.

Teaching the Most Important Lesson Every Day

The most important lesson is not taught in one conversation.

It is taught every day.

It is taught when parents open the Bible.

It is taught when they correct sin.

It is taught when they pray.

It is taught when they choose worship over convenience.

It is taught when they apologize.

It is taught when they forgive.

It is taught when they refuse worldliness.

It is taught when they speak of heaven.

It is taught when they point children to Christ.

Parents should not wait for perfect moments. The ordinary moments are the training ground.

At the table.

In the car.

Before worship.

After correction.

During disappointment.

When questions arise.

When temptation appears.

When blessings are received.

When sin is confessed.

When the gospel is discussed.

Teach them about God.

Teach them the truth.

Teach them about Christ.

Teach them obedience.

Teach them eternity.

The most important thing parents can teach their children is to live before God in such a way that they may be saved through Christ and go to heaven.

Reflection Questions

1. Am I teaching my children that loving God, obeying His word, and living for eternity is the foundation of life?

2. Do my children see in my daily life that God truly comes first?

3. Am I teaching the gospel clearly, including sin, faith, repentance, confession, baptism for the remission of sins, and faithful living?

4. Have I made earthly success more important in our home than spiritual faithfulness?

5. What ordinary moment this week can I use to point my children more clearly toward God, Christ, and eternity?