The Family

By Al Felder Children need to learn kindness. Kindness is not weakness. It is not merely being polite. It is not pretending that wrong does not matter. Biblical kindness is goodness in action. It is a heart trained to treat others with patience, mercy, compassion, gentleness, and helpfulness because God’s will governs the way we treat people. Children are not born knowing how to be kind. They must be taught to share, speak gently, consider others, forgive, help, listen, and s

By Al Felder Children need to learn how to work. That may sound simple, but it is one of the most important lessons parents can teach. Work is not merely about earning money, completing chores, or staying busy. Work teaches responsibility, discipline, patience, service, stewardship, and faithfulness. A child who is never taught to work may grow up expecting life to serve him. He may become careless with time, unwilling to finish difficult tasks, resentful of responsibility, a

By Al Felder Children need to learn modesty. That lesson should not begin when they are nearly grown. It should begin early, in simple, age-appropriate ways, as parents teach their children how to think about the body, clothing, attention, purity, shamefacedness, and respect for God’s design. Modesty is often treated as if it only concerns clothing. Clothing matters, but modesty reaches deeper than fabric. It begins with the heart. It involves humility, self-control, reverenc

By Al Felder Children need to learn respect for authority. This lesson begins in the home, but it reaches far beyond the home. A child who learns to respect rightful authority is being prepared to respect God’s authority, parental authority, civil authority, congregational leadership, and the responsibilities that come with marriage, work, and daily life. Respect for authority is not popular in a world that often celebrates self-will. Many children are taught, directly or ind

By Al Felder Children need to understand sin. That does not mean parents should burden young children with matters beyond their maturity. It does mean children must be taught, in age-appropriate ways, that sin is real, God defines it, and every person is accountable for his own choices. Many people today avoid the word “sin.” They may call sin a mistake, a weakness, a struggle, a lifestyle, a personal choice, or simply being human, but parents must not let the world soften wh

By Al Felder Children need moral clarity. They are growing up in a world where right and wrong are often treated as matters of opinion. Many people speak as if truth changes with culture, morality changes with feelings, and each person has the right to decide for themselves what is good. However, parents must teach their children something far better: right and wrong are determined by God. This lesson must begin early. Children need to know that some things are right because

By Al Felder Truthfulness must be taught early. Children need to learn that telling the truth is not merely a way to stay out of trouble. It is part of living before God. A truthful heart is important because God is true, His word is true, and He calls His people to walk in truth. Lying is often one of the first sins parents must correct in a child. A child may lie to avoid punishment, to shift blame, to gain attention, to protect pride, or to get something he wants. Sometime

By Al Felder Responsibility is not learned all at once. It is formed through daily instruction, correction, expectation, and practice. A child learns responsibility when he is taught to finish what he starts, tell the truth, care for what has been entrusted to him, accept correction, admit wrong, keep his word, and understand that choices have consequences. Parents should not wait until children are nearly grown before teaching responsibility. By then, many habits may already

By Al Felder Obedience is one of the first lessons a child must learn. Before a child understands many of life’s deeper responsibilities, he must learn to listen, submit, and do what is right. This is not merely a matter of household order. It is spiritual training. A child who learns proper obedience in the home is being prepared to understand authority, responsibility, discipline, and ultimately obedience to God. The Bible says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for

By Al Felder Children are growing up in a world filled with voices. Some voices come from friends. Some come from teachers. Some come from entertainment. Some come from social media. Some come from culture. Some come from their own desires. Every voice is trying to shape how they think, what they value, what they believe, and how they live. That is why parents must teach their children one of life’s most important truths: God’s word is the final authority. This lesson must no

By Al Felder Every parent teaches something. Some lessons are spoken plainly. Others are taught by habit, example, discipline, priorities, tone, worship, conversation, and daily choices. Children learn what matters by watching what their parents love, what they fear, what they excuse, what they pursue, and what they refuse to compromise. That is why one of the most important things parents can teach their children is the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is not merely be

Part 2 — New Testament Consistency, Word Studies, and Biblical Modesty By Al Felder If the distinction between male and female clothing is rooted in creation and role—rather than in temporary cultural fashion—then we should expect the same principles to remain consistent throughout Scripture. That is exactly what we find. This is not merely an Old Testament concern. The New Testament reinforces distinction, modesty, and purity—often with language that becomes clearer when we

Part 1 — Why God Cares About Distinction By Al Felder From the beginning, God made His design clear: humanity was created “male and female,” with purpose and order woven into creation itself (Genesis 1:26–27). Those differences are not accidents of biology or leftover cultural habits. They are part of God’s wisdom as Creator, and they connect directly to the roles He has given men and women. Our culture often treats gender roles as outdated, but Scripture treats them as meani

By Al Felder “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing: and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17). God has always called His people to be different—not different for attention, but different because we belong to Him. That difference reaches into every part of life: what we value, what we pursue, and how we make decisions. And it absolutely includes the way young people approach relationships. If Christians foll

By Al Felder “And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her” (Genesis 29:20). Our society is built around convenience—getting what we want when we want it. Patience is treated like a weakness, and determination is often replaced with shortcuts. But Genesis reminds us that Jacob’s willingness to work and wait was not meaningless; it showed the kind of seriousness marriage deserves. Marriage is not a casual arrange

By Al Felder “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Our world knows the value of preparation. If a man wants to enter a trade, profession, or even a hobby seriously, he is expected to learn, train, and prepare. Yet one of the most important commitments a man can ever make—marriage—is often entered with little thought beyond feelings, attraction, and convenience. That is backwards. Marriage is not something a man should “

By Al Felder “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Picture the man you want your son to become. You can imagine the externals—his job, the home he lives in, the hobbies he enjoys, the accomplishments he achieves. Then strip all that away. Remove the career, possessions, titles, and status symbols. What do you hope remains? What you find underneath is what matters most: character. When hard pressure comes,

By Al Felder “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of every woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). God appointed the man to be the head of the family unit—not for selfish control, but for responsibility, sacrifice, and spiritual leadership. And one of the most overlooked places that leadership must show itself is in a father’s relationship with his daughter. Strong fathers are needed to raise strong daug

By Al Felder “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). God placed tremendous emphasis on the attitude children have toward their parents. When He gave the Ten Commandments at Sinai, the command to honor father and mother stood at the front of those commandments dealing with human relationships. The order was intentional: God comes first, and the ability to live rightly with other people begins wit

By Al Felder “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). That verse captures the goal of every Christian father and mother: to train children so thoroughly in God’s ways that faith becomes their lifelong path—not merely a childhood phase. Parenting is one of the highest responsibilities God gives, and it requires our best. Training does not start when children become “old enough to understand.” It begins the mome