What Should Children Learn About Prayer?

By Al Felder

Children need to learn how to pray. Prayer is one of the greatest blessings God gives His people. Through prayer, children can learn dependence, reverence, thanksgiving, confession, trust, patience, and faith. They can learn that God is not distant from His people, and that life should be lived with constant awareness of Him.

Children do not automatically understand prayer. They may think prayer is only something said before meals, at bedtime, or during worship. They may think prayer is only for asking God for things they want. They may think prayer works like a wish list, in which God is expected to grant whatever is requested. Parents must teach them what God says about prayer.

Prayer is not magic. It is not a performance. It is not a substitute for obedience. Prayer is humble communication with God according to His will. First Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.” That does not mean a person speaks every moment of the day, but it does mean prayer should be a regular, natural, faithful part of life. Children should grow up knowing that God’s people pray.

Prayer Begins With Reverence

Children need to learn that prayer is not casual talk with an equal. God is our Father, but He is also holy. He is Creator, Lord, Judge, and King. Prayer must be approached with reverence.

Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name” (Matthew 6:9). Before requests are made, God’s name is honored. Children should learn that prayer begins with recognizing who God is.

Parents should teach children to speak respectfully when praying. They should not use prayer as a joke, a performance, or a place for careless words. They should learn that bowing the head, closing the eyes, speaking sincerely, and listening quietly when others pray are ways of showing respect. The outward posture is not the heart itself, but it can help train the heart. Children should know that prayer is serious because God is listening.

Prayer Teaches Dependence on God

Children often think they can handle life on their own. They may think parents can fix everything. They may trust in possessions, ability, strength, or circumstances. Prayer teaches them that every blessing ultimately depends on God. James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.” Food, health, family, safety, wisdom, forgiveness, and hope all come from God. Children should learn to bring their needs before Him with humility.

Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). That simple request teaches dependence. Even daily food should remind us that we rely on God. Parents can teach this at the table, before travel, during sickness, before difficult decisions, and in times of uncertainty. Children should hear prayers that say, “Lord, we need Your help,” “Thank You for providing,” and “Help us do what is right.” A child who learns to pray learns that he is not self-sufficient.

Prayer Should Include Thanksgiving

Children must learn that prayer is not only asking but also thanking. Philippians 4:6 says, “In everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Thanksgiving belongs with requests. A child should not learn to come to God only when he wants something.

Parents should teach children to thank God for specific blessings:

Thank You for this food.

Thank You for our family.

Thank You for Your word.

Thank You for the church.

Thank You for those who love us.

Thank You for Jesus.

Thank You for forgiveness.

Thank You for the hope of heaven.

Specific thanksgiving helps children see God’s goodness more clearly. It trains them to notice blessings rather than constantly focus on what they lack.

A thankful child will pray differently than an entitled child.

Prayer Should Include Confession

Children also need to learn that prayer is connected to honesty before God.

When a child sins, he should not hide from God. He should learn to confess his wrongs, seek forgiveness, and turn from sin. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

Parents should teach children that God already knows the truth. Lying, hiding, blaming, or pretending may fool people for a time, but nothing is hidden from God. Hebrews 4:13 says all things are “naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.”

As children mature, they should learn to pray with humility:

God, I was wrong.

Help me tell the truth.

Help me obey.

Help me control my anger.

Help me be kind.

Help me repent.

This kind of prayer must not be forced as empty words. Parents should teach children what confession means and help them understand that prayer should come from the heart.

Prayer Must Be Joined With Obedience

Parents must teach children that prayer does not replace obedience. A child cannot pray for forgiveness while refusing to repent. He cannot pray for wisdom while rejecting God’s instruction. He cannot pray for help to be kind while continuing to speak cruelly without correction.

Prayer must be joined with a submissive heart. First John 3:22 says, “And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.” This does not mean that Christians earn blessings from God, but it does show that prayer belongs to a life that seeks to please Him.

Children should understand that praying to God while ignoring His word is not faithful living. If a child prays for help in telling the truth, he must practice telling the truth. If he prays for help in obeying, he must obey. If he prays for forgiveness, he must repent. If he prays for kindness, he must speak and act kindly. God is not mocked by words that the heart does not intend to follow.

Prayer Teaches Children to Trust God’s Will

Children may ask God for many things. Some requests may be childish, selfish, or poorly understood. Others may be sincere and important. Parents should teach children that God hears His people, but He does not always answer in the way they expect. First John 5:14 says, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” Prayer must be shaped by God’s will.

Jesus Himself prayed in Gethsemane, “Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). That is one of the most important lessons in prayer children can learn. Even when the desire is strong, God’s will must come first.

Parents should teach children that God may answer yes, no, or wait. He may provide something different from what was requested. He may allow difficulty while giving strength to endure. Faith does not demand that God follow our wishes. Faith trusts God’s wisdom. A child who learns this will be better prepared when situations don't turn out the way he wants.

Prayer Should Be Taught in Ordinary Moments

Prayer should not be limited to emergencies. Children should learn that prayer belongs in everyday life. Parents can pray with children before meals, before bedtime, before worship, before travel, during sickness, after receiving good news, when facing temptation, when someone is hurting, and when gratitude fills the heart.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 describes God’s words being taught diligently in the flow of daily life. The same kind of daily rhythm is helpful with prayer. Children should see that faith is not reserved for a building or a scheduled service. God belongs in the home.

A child who sees prayer only in formal settings may think of it as distant. A child who hears sincere prayer in ordinary life learns that God is near to His people.

Parents should not make prayer long and complicated simply to sound spiritual. Children benefit from sincere, clear, reverent prayers that they can understand.

Children Should Learn to Pray for Others

Prayer helps children look beyond themselves. A selfish child prays only for what he wants. A maturing child learns to pray for others: the sick, the grieving, the lost, the weak, the elderly, the church, the preacher, elders, family members, friends, neighbors, and even enemies. First Timothy 2:1 says that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks should be made for all men. Children should learn intercession early.

Parents can ask:

Who should we pray for tonight?

Who is sick?

Who needs encouragement?

Who needs help obeying God?

Who is hurting?

Who needs to hear the gospel?

These questions teach children compassion. Prayer becomes a way of noticing others and carrying concern before God. Children should also learn to pray for those who mistreat them. Jesus said, “Pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). That is difficult, but it teaches mercy, self-control, and trust in God.

Prayer Teaches Patience

Children often want immediate answers. They may pray once and expect instant results. If nothing changes quickly, they may wonder whether prayer matters. Parents must teach children that prayer requires patience. Luke 18:1 says Jesus taught “that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.” Prayer is not a one-time attempt to get what we want. It is a continuing expression of faith.

Children need to learn that waiting on God is not wasted time. Sometimes God’s answer comes later. Sometimes He changes the situation. Sometimes He changes the person praying. Sometimes He gives strength to endure rather than removing the difficulty. Parents can help children remember prayers over time. They can say, “We have been praying about this. Let us keep trusting God.” They can also point out when prayers have been answered, helping children see God’s care.

Parents Must Model Prayer

Children learn prayer by hearing parents pray. They need to hear fathers pray sincerely. They need to hear mothers pray reverently. They need to know that prayer is part of the life of the home, not merely a public religious act. Parents should model thanksgiving, confession, dependence, concern for others, reverence, and submission to God’s will. Children should hear prayers that are honest without being careless, simple without being shallow, and reverent without being cold.

Parents should also be careful not to model hypocrisy. Long public prayers mean little if private life is prayerless. Children notice whether parents turn to God in real life. James 5:16 says, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” Children should see that prayer matters deeply to righteous people.

Prayer Points Children Toward the Gospel

As children mature, they must learn that prayer does not replace obedience to the gospel. Many people are taught to “pray to receive Jesus” or to say a “sinner’s prayer” for salvation. Parents should teach their children to let Scripture answer the question of salvation. In the New Testament, sinners were taught to believe, repent, confess Christ, and be baptized for the remission of sins (Mark 16:16; Acts 2:38; Romans 10:9-10; Acts 22:16). Prayer is a great blessing, but it must not be used to replace what God commanded.

This is important because children may hear many religious messages as they grow. They need to understand that salvation must be understood by God’s word, not by popular phrases or traditions. Prayer belongs in the life of God’s people, but obedience to the gospel must not be changed.

Teaching Children to Pray With the Heart

The goal is not merely to teach children to recite words. A child may memorize a prayer and still not understand prayer. Memorized words can help young children begin, but parents should gradually teach them to pray thoughtfully and sincerely. Jesus warned against vain repetitions (Matthew 6:7). Prayer must not become empty religious speech.

Parents can help children move from memorized phrases to meaningful prayer:

What are you thankful for?

What do you need help with?

Who should we pray for?

What sin do you need to turn from?

What should we ask God to help us obey?

These questions help children connect prayer to the heart.

Teaching Prayer in Everyday Life

Prayer is taught in ordinary moments:

It is taught during family meals.

It is taught when a child is afraid.

It is taught when someone is sick.

It is taught when a child has sinned.

It is taught when a blessing is received.

It is taught when the family faces a decision.

It is taught when parents pray with humility.

It is taught when God’s will is trusted above personal desire.

Parents should not underestimate these moments. They shape how children think about God. Children need to learn that they can pray to God with reverence, gratitude, honesty, trust, and submission. They need to know that God hears His people. They need to know that prayer is not a tool for selfish demands, but a blessing for faithful hearts.

Teach them to pray.

Teach them to give thanks.

Teach them to confess their wrongs.

Teach them to trust God’s will.

Teach them to pray for others.

Teach them to obey the word of God.

A praying child is learning to live with dependence on the Father who rules over all.

Reflection Questions

1. Am I teaching my children to pray with reverence rather than empty habit?

2. Do my children hear prayers of thanksgiving, confession, dependence, and concern for others in our home?

3. Am I helping my children understand that prayer must be joined with obedience to God’s word?

4. Do I teach my children to trust God’s will even when the answer is no or wait?

5. What ordinary moment this week can I use to help my children pray sincerely from the heart?