What Should Parents Teach Their Children About Marriage and the Home?

By Al Felder

Children need to learn God’s design for marriage and the home. They are growing up in a world that is deeply confused about marriage, family, male and female, commitment, purity, authority, and love. Many people treat marriage as temporary, redefine it according to culture, enter it casually, leave it carelessly, or reject God’s order altogether. Parents must teach their children better.

Marriage is not man’s invention. The home is not a social experiment. Male and female are not accidents. Husband, wife, father, mother, and children are not empty titles to be reshaped by personal desire. These things belong to God’s design.

Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” From the beginning, God established marriage as the union of one man and one woman. Jesus later quoted this passage and said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Children need to learn that marriage is holy because God designed it.

Marriage Begins With God’s Creation

Parents should teach children that marriage goes back to the beginning. God created Adam. Then He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). God made woman and brought her to the man. Marriage was not created by culture, government, tradition, or human preference. It was created by God.

This is important because whoever creates a thing has the right to define it.

Man does not have authority to redefine marriage. Society may change laws, culture may change language, people may change opinions, but none of that changes what God established.

Jesus said, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female’?” (Matthew 19:4). That statement is foundational. Marriage rests upon God’s creation of male and female. A husband is male. A wife is female. The marriage covenant joins the two together as one flesh.

Children should learn this clearly, calmly, and confidently.

God made marriage.

God defined marriage.

God’s design is good.

Marriage Is One Man and One Woman for Life

Children need to learn the permanence of marriage. Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is not meant to be temporary. It is not a trial arrangement. It is not to be entered lightly or abandoned carelessly. It is a covenant relationship before God.

Malachi 2:14 refers to the wife as “your companion and your wife by covenant.” That word matters. Marriage is not merely a romantic relationship. It is a solemn covenant.

Parents should teach children that marriage is one man and one woman joined by God for life. The world may treat divorce as common, but children must learn that God takes marriage seriously.

Jesus gave one exception for putting away and marrying another: fornication (Matthew 19:9). Children may not need the full details when very young, but as they mature, they should understand that God’s marriage law is not governed by personal unhappiness, selfish desire, or cultural convenience. Marriage should be entered into with reverence because God is involved.

Children Should Learn the Difference Between Love and Selfish Desire

The world often teaches children that love is mainly emotion, attraction, excitement, or personal fulfillment. Biblical love is deeper. Love acts for the good of another. Love sacrifices. Love serves. Love remains faithful. Love tells the truth. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not seek its own. First Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up… does not seek its own.” Children need to learn this long before they think about marriage.

If a child grows up thinking love is mainly about how another person makes him feel, he may enter marriage selfishly. He may think marriage exists to satisfy him. He may leave when feelings change. He may confuse lust with love, attention with commitment, and romance with covenant.

Parents should teach children that true love is governed by God’s will.

Love does not use people.

Love does not manipulate.

Love does not demand sin.

Love does not abandon duty.

Love does not seek pleasure at the cost of righteousness.

Love serves faithfully.

The Home Needs God’s Order

Children should learn that God designed order within the home. This does not mean one person is more valuable than another. Men and women are both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Husbands, wives, and children all have value before Him, but equality of worth does not remove distinction of role.

Ephesians 5 teaches that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are taught to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). Children are commanded to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1). Parents must teach these truths without embarrassment.

The world may call God’s order outdated, but God’s wisdom is not improved by rebellion. A home functions best when each person honors the role God has given.

A husband must not use headship as selfish control. He must lead with sacrificial love.

A wife must not see submission as humiliation. She honors God by respecting His order.

Children must not rule the home. They must learn obedience and honor. God’s order is not oppression. It is design.

Fathers Should Teach Their Sons How to Become Godly Men

Boys need to learn what kind of men they should become. Manhood is not arrogance, harshness, laziness, lust, domination, or selfish independence. A godly man fears the Lord, governs himself, works diligently, speaks truth, protects what is entrusted to him, serves humbly, and leads according to God’s word. A son should see his father honoring God, loving his wife, working faithfully, keeping promises, controlling anger, speaking respectfully, worshiping reverently, and accepting correction from Scripture.

Ephesians 6:4 gives fathers a direct responsibility: “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Fathers should not be absent, passive, careless, or spiritually silent. They should help shape their children’s understanding of authority, love, discipline, and faith. A boy who sees a godly father has a living example of what manhood should look like. If a father has failed, he should repent and begin doing right. Children need honest examples of growth, humility, and obedience.

Mothers Should Teach Their Daughters How to Become Godly Women

Girls need to learn what kind of women they should become. Womanhood is not vanity, immodesty, rebellion, manipulation, loud self-display, or worldly independence from God’s design. A godly woman fears the Lord, practices purity, shows kindness, works faithfully, speaks with wisdom, loves her family, and adorns herself with the hidden person of the heart. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Daughters need to hear that truth often. Their value is not found in worldly beauty, attention, popularity, or comparison. Their highest beauty is a heart that fears God.

Titus 2:4-5 shows that older women are to teach younger women to love their husbands, love their children, be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, and obedient to their own husbands. Mothers should model and teach these qualities with humility and consistency. A daughter who sees godly womanhood lived in the home is being given a powerful gift.

Children Should Learn Purity Before Marriage

Parents must teach children purity. The world often treats sexual sin as normal, harmless, or inevitable. God does not. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Children should learn that sexual purity belongs to God’s design.

The marriage relationship is honorable within marriage, but fornication, adultery, lust, immodesty, and impurity are sinful. This instruction should be age-appropriate, modest, and wise. Parents should not unnecessarily awaken curiosity, but neither should they remain silent while the world teaches impurity boldly.

Children should learn:

The body belongs under God’s authority.

Marriage is the proper place for sexual union.

Lust is sinful.

Immodesty is dangerous.

Pornography and impurity corrupt the heart.

Fornication is sin.

Adultery is sin.

God’s way protects the soul.

First Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee sexual immorality.” Some sins must not be entertained or negotiated with. They must be fled.

Children Should Learn That Marriage Requires Faithfulness

Faithfulness is essential to marriage. A husband and wife must keep covenant with one another. They must not betray trust, flirt with sin, hide unfaithfulness, or treat marriage vows lightly. Proverbs 5 teaches the danger of sexual temptation and calls a man to rejoice with the wife of his youth. Children should grow up understanding that marriage requires loyalty in heart, eyes, words, and actions.

Faithfulness begins before marriage. A child who learns honesty, self-control, purity, modesty, and respect for authority is being prepared for future faithfulness. Parents should teach children that marriage is not protected only by avoiding adultery after vows are made. It is protected by building character before marriage begins. A faithful spouse grows from a faithful heart.

Children Should Learn How a Husband Should Love His Wife

Sons and daughters both need to know what godly husbandly love looks like.

Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” That standard is high. A husband’s leadership must be shaped by Christ’s sacrificial love.

Children should not be taught that headship means selfish rule. A husband must not be cruel, lazy, harsh, manipulative, or proud. He should provide spiritual leadership, protect his home, love his wife, honor her, and seek her good. First Peter 3:7 teaches husbands to dwell with their wives with understanding and give honor to the wife. A godly husband does not belittle his wife. He does not treat her as inferior. He honors her as God commands.

A daughter should learn not to admire men who are ungodly, selfish, or disrespectful. A son should learn that he must become the kind of man who can love, lead, and sacrifice.

Children Should Learn How a Wife Should Respect Her Husband

Children also need to learn what godly womanhood looks like in marriage. Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Respect does not mean approving sin, enabling abuse, or following a husband into disobedience against God. Acts 5:29 still stands: “We ought to obey God rather than men.”

However, in God’s design, a wife should honor her husband’s role and help build the home rather than tear it down. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Children should see that words, attitudes, priorities, and conduct can build or damage a home.

A daughter should learn that godly femininity is beautiful and strong when it submits to God. A son should learn to value and honor a woman who fears the Lord.

Children Should Learn That the Home Is a Place of Teaching

God designed the home as a place where children are trained. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 shows parents teaching God’s words diligently to their children in daily life. Instruction was not limited to public assemblies. It belonged in the home, in conversation, in ordinary moments. Parents must not surrender spiritual teaching to the world.

Children should learn Scripture at home.

They should learn prayer at home.

They should learn obedience at home.

They should learn kindness at home.

They should learn forgiveness at home.

They should learn worship at home.

They should learn purity at home.

They should learn responsibility at home.

The home is one of the first classrooms for the soul.

Children Should Learn That Marriage Is Not Always Easy

Parents should not teach children a shallow view of marriage. Marriage brings blessings, but it also requires patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, endurance, and humility. Two people do not become one flesh without learning to give, listen, repent, and serve.

Children should not see constant fighting, bitterness, cruelty, or disrespect normalized in the home, but they should see how Christians handle difficulty when it comes.

They should see apologies.

They should see forgiveness.

They should see calm discussion.

They should see prayer.

They should see faithfulness even when feelings are strained.

They should see parents choosing covenant over selfishness.

Colossians 3:13 says Christians are to bear with one another and forgive one another. That belongs in marriage too. A child who sees faithful endurance learns that love is more than emotion.

Children Must Be Protected From Distorted Views of the Home

The world teaches many false ideas about the home.

It teaches that gender is self-defined.

It teaches that marriage can be anything mankind wants it to be.

It teaches that divorce is a simple path to happiness.

It teaches that sexual sin is freedom.

It teaches that children should rule themselves.

It teaches that authority is oppression.

It teaches that personal desire is the highest good.

Parents must answer these lies with Scripture. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world.” Children must learn that God’s people do not accept every idea simply because it becomes popular. God’s design is not corrected by culture.

Parents should speak plainly, lovingly, and biblically. Children need clarity before confusion takes root.

Parents Must Model the Home They Teach

Parents cannot faithfully teach God’s design for the home while ignoring it themselves.

Children notice how father treats mother.

They notice how mother treats father.

They notice whether parents keep promises.

They notice whether Scripture governs decisions.

They notice whether love is patient.

They notice whether correction is fair.

They notice whether worship is prioritized.

They notice whether forgiveness is practiced.

They notice whether parents respect God’s roles.

No home is perfect, but every home should be striving to honor God. When parents sin, they should repent. When they fail, they should correct course. When they struggle, they should return to Scripture. This teaches children that God’s design is not abandoned because people are imperfect. It is obeyed because God is right.

Teaching Children to Value the Home

Children need to learn that the home is a blessing. It is not merely a place to sleep, eat, and keep possessions. A godly home is a place of training, love, discipline, hospitality, service, correction, worship, forgiveness, and preparation for eternity.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD.” Children are not burdens to be managed around adult selfishness. They are entrusted to parents by God.

Parents should teach children to value family relationships. They should teach siblings to love one another, serve one another, forgive one another, and speak respectfully. They should teach children to honor father and mother and to care for family duties. The home should point children toward God.

Marriage Points to Christ and the Church

Marriage also teaches something greater than itself. Ephesians 5 connects marriage to Christ and the church. The husband’s love reflects Christ’s love for the church. The wife’s submission reflects the church’s submission to Christ. This does not make marriage a mere symbol, but it does show that marriage carries deep spiritual meaning. Children should learn that Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). They should see that marriage, when lived according to God’s design, helps display order, love, sacrifice, and faithfulness.

A home shaped by Scripture becomes a living lesson.

It teaches children about authority.

It teaches love.

It teaches service.

It teaches commitment.

It teaches forgiveness.

It teaches reverence for Christ.

Teaching Marriage and the Home in Everyday Life

Parents teach children about marriage and the home every day.

They teach when father and mother speak to each other.

They teach when conflict is handled.

They teach when roles are honored.

They teach when purity is discussed.

They teach when children are corrected.

They teach when Scripture governs decisions.

They teach when worship is prioritized.

They teach when love serves instead of demanding.

They teach when forgiveness is practiced.

The world will continue trying to redefine marriage and confuse the home.

Parents must continue teaching God’s design.

Marriage is one man and one woman for life.

The home has order.

Children must be trained.

Purity must be guarded.

Love must be sacrificial.

God’s word must rule.

Christ must be honored in the home.

Reflection Questions

1. Am I teaching my children that marriage was designed by God, not invented by man?

2. Do my children understand that marriage is one man and one woman for life according to Scripture?

3. Am I modeling love, respect, forgiveness, and faithfulness in the home?

4. Do I teach my children purity, modesty, and self-control before the world teaches them impurity?

5. What daily habits in our home need to better reflect God’s design for marriage and family?