What Should Parents Teach Their Children About the Church?

By Al Felder

Children need to learn what the church is. Many people grow up thinking of the church as a building, a denomination, a social organization, a family tradition, or a place people attend when convenient. Others speak of “choosing a church” as if the church belongs to man and can be shaped by personal preference. Parents must teach their children something better.

The church belongs to Christ. Jesus said, “I will build My church” (Matthew 16:18). That statement is important. He did not say He would build many competing churches with different names, doctrines, worship practices, and authorities. He said, “My church.” The church is His because He purchased it with His own blood (Acts 20:28). It is not man-made, man-owned, or man-governed. Children need to understand that the church is not something we redesign. It is something we must recognize, respect, and follow according to God’s word.

The Church Belongs to Christ

The church is not a human invention. Christ is its builder, owner, Savior, and head. Ephesians 1:22-23 says God “put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body.” That means the church is under the authority of Christ.

Children should learn early that no man has the right to change what Christ built.

If the church belongs to Christ, then its teaching must come from Christ. Its worship must be authorized by Christ. Its organization must follow Christ’s word. Its work must remain within what Christ has given. Its name, identity, doctrine, and practice must not be changed by human opinion.

Colossians 1:18 says, “And He is the head of the body, the church.” A body does not direct the head. The head directs the body. In the same way, the church does not decide its own will apart from Christ. It submits to Him. Parents must teach children that loyalty to the church begins with loyalty to Christ.

The Church Is the Body of Christ

The New Testament describes the church as the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:4 says, “There is one body and one Spirit.” Since the body is the church (Ephesians 1:22-23), there is one church belonging to Christ. This truth is important because children will grow up in a world filled with religious division. They will hear people say, “Attend the church of your choice,” or “One church is as good as another.” However, Scripture teaches one body, one faith, one Lord, and one baptism (Ephesians 4:4-5).

Parents should teach children to love truth enough to ask what the Bible says about the church, not merely what people around them say. The church is not divided into denominations by God’s design. Religious division is not something to celebrate. Jesus prayed that His disciples would be one (John 17:20-21). Paul pleaded that brethren “all speak the same thing” and that there be “no divisions” among them (1 Corinthians 1:10).

Children need to learn that unity must be built on truth, not compromise.

The Church Is Made Up of the Saved

The church is not merely a list of people who attend a building. Acts 2 records the preaching of the gospel on Pentecost. Those who gladly received the word were baptized, and about three thousand souls were added to them (Acts 2:41). Then Acts 2:47 says, “And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.”

That verse is important. The Lord adds the saved to the church. Man does not join the church by signing a card, choosing a preference, or following a family tradition. One is added by the Lord when he obeys the gospel and is saved.

Children should be taught that the church and salvation are not disconnected. Christ is the Savior of the body (Ephesians 5:23). To be saved by Christ is to be added to His people. Parents should teach children the gospel clearly. They need to learn about faith, repentance, confession, baptism for the remission of sins, and faithful living. They also need to understand that becoming a Christian is not merely becoming “religious.” It means being added by the Lord to the church that belongs to Christ.

The Church Is Not the Building

Children often hear people say, “We are going to church,” and they may begin to think the church is the building. Parents should help them understand the difference. The church may assemble in a building, but the building is not the church. The church is the people who belong to Christ. Christians are living stones being built up as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5). A building may be useful for assembling, teaching, and worshiping, but it is not holy in itself.

This is important because children need to understand that Christianity is not confined to a location. The church assembles for worship, but Christians remain God’s people when they leave the building. Their conduct at home, school, work, and in the community should still reflect Christ. The church is not something they visit. It is the body to which the saved belong. Parents can teach this simply: “The building is where the church meets. The church is the people who belong to Jesus.”

The Church Has a Pattern

Parents should teach children that God has given a pattern for the church. Second Timothy 1:13 says, “Hold fast the pattern of sound words.” God has not left the church to guess its doctrine, worship, organization, or work. The New Testament reveals what Christ authorized.

Children should learn that the church is to continue in the apostles’ doctrine (Acts 2:42). They should understand that preaching must be from the word of God (2 Timothy 4:2). They should learn that worship includes singing, prayer, preaching, giving, and the Lord’s Supper according to New Testament teaching.

They should also learn that the church has local organization. Elders oversee the flock among them (Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2). Deacons serve according to the qualifications given in Scripture (1 Timothy 3:8-13). Evangelists preach the word. Members work together under Christ. Parents should teach children that God’s pattern is not restrictive in a harmful way. It protects the church from human invention. It keeps man from replacing divine authority with personal desire.

The Church Must Worship According to God’s Word

Children need to learn that worship in the church is not based on entertainment or preference. God has revealed how Christians are to worship. The church sings (Ephesians 5:19; Colossians 3:16), prays (Acts 2:42), hears the word preached (2 Timothy 4:2), gives as prospered on the first day of the week (1 Corinthians 16:2), and observes the Lord’s Supper on the first day of the week (Acts 20:7).

Parents should teach children that worship is not improved by adding what God did not authorize. The New Testament authorizes singing, not mechanical instruments of music. It authorizes the Lord’s Supper as a memorial of Christ’s death. It authorizes prayer to God. It authorizes preaching and teaching His word. It authorizes giving for the work of the church. Children must learn to ask, “What did God command?” rather than, “What do people enjoy?” That question will help them remain faithful when religious trends change.

The Church Has a Work

The church has work to do. It is not a social club, political organization, entertainment center, or human charity institution. The New Testament shows the church preaching the gospel, edifying the saints, worshiping God, and helping needy saints.

The church is “the pillar and ground of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). That means the church must uphold and proclaim the truth. Children should grow up understanding that the church’s mission is spiritual. It must preach Christ, teach sound doctrine, strengthen Christians, and honor God.

The church also has responsibility toward needy saints. The New Testament gives examples of Christians helping brethren in need (Acts 4:32-35; Romans 15:25-26). Children should learn compassion, but they should also learn that the church’s work must remain under the authority of Scripture. Parents should teach children that the church must not become whatever man wants it to become. It must do the work Christ gave it.

The Church Requires Faithful Members

Children should learn that every Christian has responsibilities in the church. The church is a body, and every member has a place. First Corinthians 12 teaches that the body has many members, and all are needed. Not everyone has the same ability or role, but every Christian should serve faithfully.

Children should not grow up thinking the church is something they merely receive from. They should learn that Christians worship, serve, encourage, give, teach where authorized, help, and bear one another’s burdens. Hebrews 10:24 says Christians should “consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.” The church is a family of believers who help one another remain faithful.

Parents can begin teaching this early. Children can learn to greet brethren kindly, sit reverently, sing, listen, help older members, encourage others, visit the sick with parents, and respect the work of the congregation. A child who learns service early is less likely to grow up treating the church as a religious convenience.

Children Must Learn to Love the Brethren

The church is not only a place of instruction. It is a fellowship of saints. Jesus said, “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Children should see love among brethren. They should see hospitality, encouragement, forgiveness, patience, compassion, and concern.

Parents must be careful how they speak about brethren in front of their children. If children constantly hear criticism, gossip, suspicion, and complaint, they may grow to despise the church. If parents speak harshly about elders, preachers, members, and congregational matters, children may learn disrespect instead of love. That does not mean children should be taught to ignore sin or error. They should learn truth and discernment, but they should also learn to love the people of God. First Peter 2:17 says, “Love the brotherhood.” Parents should teach children to do that by word and example.

The Church Must Be Kept Pure

Parents should also teach children that the church must remain faithful to Christ. Love does not mean ignoring sin or tolerating false doctrine. The New Testament teaches correction, discipline, warning, and separation when necessary. Romans 16:17 says to note those who cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine learned, and avoid them. First Corinthians 5 teaches that open, unrepentant sin must not be treated lightly among God’s people.

Children should understand that discipline is not hatred. Proper discipline seeks to protect the church, warn the sinner, and honor Christ. This lesson should be taught with balance. Children should not grow up suspicious or harsh, but neither should they grow up thinking truth does not matter. The church must love souls enough to correct sin and resist error. A faithful church is not one that pleases everyone. It is one that submits to Christ.

Parents Must Model Faithfulness to the Church

Children learn what parents truly believe about the church by watching how they live:

They notice whether worship is prioritized.

They notice whether Bible study matters.

They notice whether parents serve or only complain.

They notice whether giving is cheerful.

They notice whether parents speak respectfully of elders and brethren.

They notice whether the church is treated as essential or optional.

If parents treat the church as secondary, children may learn to do the same. Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Parents must show children that the church belonging to Christ matters more than sports, recreation, entertainment, convenience, and worldly success. Faithfulness to the church is not merely attendance, but attendance matters. Service, encouragement, sound doctrine, reverence, and commitment matter. Parents should model all of it.

The Church Points Children to Eternity

The church is not merely about life now. Christ will save His body. Ephesians 5:27 speaks of the church being presented to Him glorious, holy, and without blemish. The church points children toward God's eternal purpose.

When children learn about the church, they are learning about Christ’s kingdom, His people, His authority, His salvation, and His plan. They should understand that being part of the church is not about social identity. It is about belonging to Christ and living as one of His redeemed people.

Parents should teach children to love the church because Christ loves the church. He “gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). What Christ loved enough to die for, parents should teach children to value deeply.

Teaching Children About the Church in Everyday Life

Parents teach children about the church in ordinary moments:

They teach when they prepare for worship.

They teach when they explain why the church worships as it does.

They teach when they speak about brethren.

They teach when they serve others.

They teach when they show respect for elders.

They teach when they prioritize the assembly.

They teach when they open Scripture and ask what Christ has authorized.

They teach when they show love for the body of Christ.

Children need to learn that the church is not a human denomination, a building, or a religious option among many:

It is the body of Christ.

It belongs to Him.

It is governed by His word.

It worships according to His authority.

It does His work.

It is made up of the saved.

It must be loved because Christ loved it first.

Reflection Questions

1. Am I teaching my children that the church belongs to Christ and not to man?

2. Do my children understand that the church is the body of Christ, not merely a building or denomination?

3. Am I helping my children see from Scripture how the church worships, works, and is organized?

4. Do my words about brethren, elders, worship, and congregational matters teach love and respect?

5. What can I do this week to help my children love the church for which Christ died?