Why Should Parents Teach Their Children to Fear the Lord?

By Al Felder

Every parent teaches something.

Some lessons are spoken plainly. Others are taught by habit, example, discipline, priorities, tone, worship, conversation, and daily choices. Children learn what matters by watching what their parents love, what they fear, what they excuse, what they pursue, and what they refuse to compromise.

That is why one of the most important things parents can teach their children is the fear of the Lord.

The fear of the Lord is not merely being afraid of punishment. It is reverence, awe, submission, humility, and a deep recognition that God is God and man is not. It teaches a child that life is not self-owned, truth is not self-made, and right and wrong are not decided by personal desire.

Solomon wrote, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7). Before a child can understand education, work, family, worship, morality, or responsibility, he must first learn where wisdom begins. It begins with God.

Children Need More Than Rules

Rules are necessary in a home. Children must be taught what they may and may not do. They need instruction, correction, boundaries, and consequences, but rules alone are not enough.

A child may obey a rule because he fears getting caught. He may behave properly when a parent is watching, but act differently when he is alone. He may learn how to appear respectful without becoming truly humble before God.

The fear of the Lord gives rules their proper foundation.

When children learn to fear the Lord, they begin to understand that obedience is not merely about pleasing parents. It is about honoring God. They learn that hidden things are not hidden from Him. They learn that truth still matters when no one else sees. They learn that sin is not simply “getting in trouble,” but doing wrong before the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, “Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.” That truth is not only for adults. It is for children as well. Parents must teach their children that life has a purpose, and that purpose is not popularity, pleasure, money, achievement, or self-expression. Man was made to fear God and keep His commandments.

The Fear of the Lord Teaches Humility

Children are born needing instruction. They do not naturally understand wisdom, self-control, respect, sacrifice, or spiritual priorities. They must be trained.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Training involves more than giving information. It includes shaping the heart, correcting the will, and directing the path.

The fear of the Lord teaches children humility by placing God above them. It teaches them that they are not the center of the home, the church, or the world. It teaches them that their desires must be governed, their words must be measured, and their actions must be accountable.

Without reverence for God, children may grow up clever but proud, successful but selfish, or educated but foolish. A child may learn math, science, history, technology, and career skills, yet still lack the wisdom needed to live rightly before God.

Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Parents should want their children to learn, but learning must be built on reverence for God. Otherwise, knowledge can become another tool for pride.

The Fear of the Lord Teaches Obedience

A home cannot function properly without obedience. God placed parents in a position of authority, and children are commanded to honor and obey them.

Paul wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). He also wrote, “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).

Notice the reason obedience matters. It is “right,” and it is “well pleasing to the Lord.” Parents should teach children that obedience is not merely a family rule. It is part of pleasing God.

When children learn to obey parents properly, they are being prepared to obey God. A child who is never required to submit to rightful authority will struggle to understand submission to divine authority. A child who is allowed to argue, delay, manipulate, defy, or excuse disobedience may carry that same spirit into his relationship with God.

Parents must therefore teach obedience with patience, consistency, love, and firmness. They must not provoke their children to wrath, but they must also not surrender their responsibility to train them. Ephesians 6:4 says fathers are to bring children up “in the training and admonition of the Lord.” That means the home must be a place where God’s instruction shapes the child’s life.

The Fear of the Lord Teaches Moral Clarity

Children are growing up in a world that often calls evil good and good evil. They will hear many voices telling them to follow their heart, define their own truth, and live however they feel. If parents do not teach them to fear the Lord, the world will gladly teach them not to.

The fear of the Lord gives children moral clarity. It teaches them that God has spoken. It teaches them that sin is real. It teaches them that righteousness matters. It teaches them that God’s way is not one opinion among many, but the way of truth.

Psalm 111:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.” Understanding is connected to doing. Children must be taught that God’s commandments are not suggestions. They are not outdated advice. They are not to be obeyed only when convenient. They are the will of the Lord.

This moral clarity helps children in everyday decisions. Should I tell the truth? Should I obey when my parents are not watching? Should I join my friends in wrong behavior? Should I control my anger? Should I dress modestly? Should I speak respectfully? Should I worship God as He commanded?

The fear of the Lord gives the answer before temptation comes.

Parents Must Teach by Word and Example

Parents cannot teach the fear of the Lord only by telling children what they should do. They must also show them what reverence looks like.

Children notice whether worship is treated as holy or optional. They notice whether prayer is natural or rare. They notice whether Scripture is opened or ignored. They notice whether parents speak with reverence about God, the church, the Bible, elders, worship, marriage, and righteousness.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 gives a powerful picture of spiritual instruction in the home: “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children.” God’s word was to be discussed in daily life, not confined to a single formal moment.

The same principle remains important for parents today. Children need to see that God’s word belongs in the home, in conversation, in decisions, in correction, in gratitude, and in worship. They need to know that serving God is not just something done publicly, but something lived sincerely.

A parent who speaks of God but lives carelessly sends a confusing message. A parent who demands obedience from children while showing little submission to God weakens the lesson. A parent who treats the Lord’s work as secondary teaches children to do the same.

The fear of the Lord must be seen.

The Fear of the Lord Protects Children

Parents cannot follow their children everywhere. They cannot remove every temptation, silence every worldly influence, or make every decision for them. Eventually, children must choose.

That is why the fear of the Lord is such a necessary protection.

Proverbs 14:26-27 says, “In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to turn one away from the snares of death.”

The fear of the Lord helps turn children away from danger. It teaches them to see sin not as harmless fun, but as a snare. It teaches them to think beyond the moment. It teaches them to ask, “What does God say?” before asking, “What do I want?”

This protection does not mean children will never be tempted. It does not mean they will never make mistakes, but it gives them a foundation to return to. It gives them the truth that can prick their consciences, guide their repentance, and point them back to God.

The Fear of the Lord Points Children Toward Eternity

Parents often think carefully about their children’s future. They want them to be prepared for work, marriage, finances, education, and life’s responsibilities. These things matter, but none of them matters more than eternity.

Jesus asked, “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Matthew 16:26). That question should shape parenting. A child may gain degrees, awards, possessions, popularity, and career success, but if he loses his soul, he has lost everything.

Parents must therefore teach children to think beyond this life. They must teach them that judgment is real, eternity is real, heaven is real, and sin has consequences. They must teach them that God is merciful, but He is also holy. They must teach them that salvation is found in Christ and that the gospel must be obeyed.

The fear of the Lord prepares the heart to receive these truths seriously.

A Home Built on Reverence

A home built on the fear of the Lord will not be perfect, because no family is perfect. Parents will still need patience. Children will still need correction. Mistakes will still be made, but the direction of the home will be clear.

God will be honored.

His word will be respected.

Sin will be corrected.

Truth will be taught.

Worship will matter.

Obedience will be expected.

Heaven will be kept in view.

Parents should not wait until children are older to teach these things. The fear of the Lord should be woven into their earliest training. It should shape how they speak, obey, learn, dress, worship, work, choose friends, handle correction, and think about life.

The world is already teaching children. Parents must teach them better, and the first great lesson is this: fear God.

Reflection Questions

1. Do my children see reverence for God in the way I speak, worship, make decisions, and handle correction?

2. Am I teaching my children that obedience is not merely about pleasing parents, but about pleasing the Lord?

3. What daily opportunities can I use to teach my children the fear of the Lord more naturally?

4. Have I allowed worldly priorities to become more important in the home than spiritual priorities?

5. Am I preparing my children only for life on earth, or am I preparing them for eternity?