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By Al Felder “Honor thy father and mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). God placed tremendous emphasis on the attitude children have toward their parents. When He gave the Ten Commandments at Sinai, the command to honor father and mother stood at the front of those commandments dealing with human relationships. The order was intentional: God comes first , and the ability to live rightly with other people begins with learning to honor father and mother. It is also the first command given with a promise—showing that God ties blessings to this duty. Honoring parents is not a small social courtesy; it is a foundational moral command that reaches into every area of life. Understanding the law and the command While the Law of Moses is not the covenant binding us today, the principle behind this command is repeated and reinforced under the Law of Christ. The New Testament teaches: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1–3). That repetition shows how seriously God takes this subject. Honoring parents was not merely an Old Testament idea. It is a lasting obligation in God’s moral order. The seriousness of dishonoring parents Under the Old Covenant, God attached severe punishments to rebellion against parents. A stubborn and rebellious son who would not obey could face death under the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 21:18–21). God also condemned striking parents and cursing them (Exodus 21:15, 17). These penalties are shocking to modern thinking, but they reveal something important: God hates the sin of disrespect and rebellion toward parents. While we are not under Israel’s civil laws today, the moral lesson remains. The actions that dishonored parents were treated as grave evils because they undermine the very structure of family, authority, and society. Disrespect does not lead to righteousness; it leads to ruin. And beyond that, it leads to spiritual death—separation from God—unless it is repented of. The promise tied to obedience The command includes a promise: long life and well-being. That blessing is not accidental. A child who learns restraint, self-control, and obedience is far more likely to avoid destructive paths. Parents do not make rules to “ruin” their children; they make rules to protect, guide, and help them grow into wise and godly adults. Honoring parents also places a person under God’s favor. All spiritual blessings are in Christ, and those blessings belong to those who obey God faithfully. Honoring father and mother is not optional if we want to please the Lord. So what does honoring parents actually look like in daily life? 1) Honor begins with respectful speech One of the first ways children dishonor their parents is through the tongue. God condemned “cursing” father and mother—speaking evil to them or about them. Honoring parents requires a spirit of respect and reverence. Parents occupy a position of authority granted by God. All rightful authority ultimately comes from Him, and within the home, God has delegated authority to parents over their children. A child’s respect for parents is a genuine expression of respect toward God. That is why the way a child addresses parents matters. Scripture gives a simple but powerful picture when Isaac spoke to Abraham: “My father” (Genesis 22:7). That brief phrase reveals reverence. It shows proper honor. In our time, disrespect has become normalized. Many young people speak to parents the same way they speak to friends. Some even call their parents by their first names. That may be common, but it is not the spirit of honor. People do not address leaders like mayors or presidents by first name out of respect for their position. Parents hold a God-given position in the home, and children should speak accordingly. A respectful tone, respectful words, and respectful address are not “old-fashioned.” They are righteous. 2) Honor includes obedience and submission The Bible is direct: “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). Obedience is not selective. Children may not always like what parents require, and they may not always understand it, but God commands obedience because God gave parents the responsibility of raising children properly. Scripture also includes the idea of subjection —not just doing what you’re told, but doing it with the right attitude. Submission involves subjecting your judgment and will to your parents’ authority while you are under their roof. That may be difficult for young people, especially when they believe they know better. But God calls for humility. This kind of subjection is rare in modern culture, but it is beautiful when it exists. It reflects a heart that fears God. 3) Honor continues into adulthood through care and provision Honoring parents does not end when you reach adulthood. The relationship changes—parents no longer have the same extent of authority over a married son or daughter—but the obligation to honor them remains until death. There is a debt owed to parents that can never truly be repaid. They nurtured you, provided for you, protected you, and sacrificed for you. That should never be forgotten. One of the clearest ways adult children honor their parents is by providing for them in old age . Jesus addressed this directly when He rebuked those who used religious tradition as an excuse to avoid caring for parents (Matthew 15:4–6). He made it clear that honoring father and mother includes meeting their needs. The same principle is reinforced elsewhere: if a widow has family, the family should “show piety at home” and “requite their parents,” because it is good and acceptable before God (1 Timothy 5:4). Caring for aging parents is not merely a financial decision—it is a spiritual duty. We live in a sad day where the value of life is often discarded at both ends—unwanted children and forgotten elderly. Many parents are placed in nursing homes and are rarely visited. Some children shift their parents’ care entirely onto the government. But God’s word is not unclear: “If any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). That is a sobering statement. Neglecting one’s own family is not a small failure. It is a denial of basic moral duty. Why this command matters for society—and for eternity Honoring parents produces respect for law and order. Homes that teach honor create children who respect authority in society. When the family decays, respect for all authority collapses, and society plunges into chaos. No nation can sustain itself without well-ordered homes. More importantly, honoring parents trains the heart to honor God. Those who truly honor father and mother are more likely to revere holy things, uphold righteousness, and pass moral character to the next generation. The highest way to honor your parents There is one final and greatest way to honor father and mother: turn to their God. Godly parents raise children longing to see them obey Christ. They watch, protect, instruct, and pray—sometimes with joy and sometimes with tears. Nothing a child can do brings greater honor to faithful parents than choosing the Lord and walking in His ways.

By Al Felder “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). That verse captures the goal of every Christian father and mother: to train children so thoroughly in God’s ways that faith becomes their lifelong path—not merely a childhood phase. Parenting is one of the highest responsibilities God gives, and it requires our best. Training does not start when children become “old enough to understand.” It begins the moment those precious little ones enter our care, and it continues until they are ready to establish a home of their own. So, how do parents train children effectively according to the word of God? Scripture points to several principles that must be taken seriously if a home is going to be strong and children are going to be guided toward obedience to Christ. 1) Parents must be united One of the quickest paths to chaos in the home is parental division. When a father and mother disagree on discipline, expectations, and consequences, confusion spreads—and children quickly learn to exploit it. Consider what happens when one parent responds to disobedience immediately, while the other rushes in to intervene on the child's behalf. The child “wins,” the parents become more divided, and the rules become meaningless. Over time, children can become skilled at turning parents against each other, driving wedges into the marriage and harming the entire family. What prevents this? Parents must talk. They must decide together how the home will operate, what rules will be enforced, what consequences will follow, and what rewards will be given. God’s design is that husband and wife are “one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). That oneness includes shared goals and shared plans for raising children. And when parents genuinely cannot agree after discussion, God’s order still provides direction. The father is the head of the home, and a wife must not undercut her husband’s authority in front of the children. Respect for leadership must be modeled, or children will learn to despise it. That doesn’t mean a wise father ignores his wife’s insight; it means the home must never be run by competing authorities. At times, a father may intentionally defer to the mother when he knows she has stronger discernment on a particular matter. That kind of consideration strengthens unity rather than weakening it. But the point remains: a divided home cannot properly train children. 2) Discipline is necessary—and discipline must have “teeth” No serious discussion of child training can avoid the topic of discipline. Scripture is direct: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). The Bible presents discipline not as cruelty, but as love. The world objects to this. Our culture often treats biblical discipline as harsh, unloving, or outdated. But Scripture says otherwise: “Withhold not correction from the child… Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13–14). God is not endorsing injury or abuse. The Bible nowhere condones serious bodily harm. The rod, carefully administered with love, purpose, and proper restraint, is meant to correct disobedience and help shape character. Discipline isn’t about anger. It’s about training. When should discipline begin? Scripture says, “Chasten thy son while there is hope” (Proverbs 19:18). That means correction cannot be postponed until a child is large, stubborn, and hardened. As soon as a child is old enough to understand “no,” and willfully disobeys, a simple swat establishes a crucial truth early: disobedience has consequences. That lesson helps later when the child must learn to resist sin and submit to God. 3) Fathers have a direct responsibility from God God speaks directly to fathers: “Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The father is the head of the home, and he will answer to God for what happens within his household. That means he must be aware, present, and active in training. When a father is home, he should lead in discipline and instruction. When he is away, the mother naturally acts in his stead. But a father must never be negligent when he is present. The command includes two keywords: Nurture : training with structure—discipline with backbone. It is a correction backed by consequences. Admonition : instruction—teaching God’s word, shaping conscience, and forming convictions. A father should set aside time as often as possible to lead the family spiritually: reading Scripture together, discussing what it means, praying for needs and thanksgivings, and even singing together as a family. Over time, few things will shape a home more than a father who consistently leads his family toward God. 4) Do not provoke children to wrath Colossians adds: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Colossians 3:21). A father can train in ways that break a child’s spirit instead of shaping the child’s character. One of the most common ways this happens is through inconsistency. Inconsistency produces confusion and anger When a rule is enforced one day and ignored the next, children don’t know where they stand. The same action yields different outcomes depending on a parent’s mood, energy, or convenience. That unpredictability breeds frustration—and it often leads to rebellion. Inconsistent discipline is frequently the fruit of laziness. Discipline takes effort, planning, and persistence. Parents live in a culture that expects instant results, and when improvement doesn’t happen in a few days, some give up. But training takes time. Progress comes through steady, consistent enforcement. Too many rules can sabotage discipline God gave Adam and Eve one rule in Eden. God gave Israel the Ten Commandments as the foundation of life. The principle is simple: a few clear rules consistently enforced will train better than many rules rarely enforced . A parent can accomplish more by enforcing one rule faithfully than by maintaining a long list that collapses under inconsistency. Add rules gradually as children learn obedience. Encouragement must accompany correction Scripture gives commands with promises and encouragement (Ephesians 6:1–3). Parents should learn from that. If all a child hears is correction, criticism, and disappointment, discouragement will grow. It is easy to notice wrong; it takes more intention to notice right. But children need to be commended when they obey, show kindness, tell the truth, work hard, and demonstrate growth. Recognition strengthens the heart and provokes children toward good works rather than anger. 5) Keep communication open Training requires a relationship, and a relationship requires communication. Constant communication was part of God’s command to Israel: “Thou shalt teach them diligently… and shalt talk of them when thou sittest… when thou walkest… when thou liest down… when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). That is a daily conversation. It uses everyday moments of life to teach God’s ways. When children feel free to talk with their parents, training becomes more effective. They can ask questions, seek wisdom, and receive counsel. Over time, a strong bond forms—one that can last long after children are grown. Conclusion: you are training future Christian parents Christian parents are not merely raising kids—they are shaping future mothers and fathers. Children learn how to handle temptation, solve problems, repent when wrong, and treat others by watching their parents live. That means parents must be genuine. Children should see how you handle mistakes, including your willingness to admit wrong and correct them. They should see humility and repentance, not perfectionism and pretending. As children grow, discipline moves from strict structure toward self-discipline. Parents gradually back off as children assume responsibility, practice what they’ve been taught, and learn to face the consequences of their actions—good or bad. This is the goal: to train children in God’s ways so deeply that when they are old, they will not depart from them.

By Al Felder “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children” (Proverbs 13:22). Parents have a profound impact on their children—and that influence can reach generations beyond what we can see. There may come a time when we feel as if we have nothing left to offer. Our children are grown. They have children of their own. But the truth is this: what godly parents can give never truly runs out. Even after children leave home, a father and mother can still shape lives—by the inheritance they leave behind. And that inheritance is not primarily money or possessions. The most valuable inheritance parents can pass down is godly living . An inheritance can bless—or corrupt—generations One man’s influence can echo far into the future. If you walk the streets of Shrewsbury, England, you will find memorials to a man whose ideas shaped the modern world—Charles Darwin. His teaching proposed a view of life that removes God from the center and leaves humanity to decide right and wrong on its own. When people are taught there is no God, they are also taught there is no absolute authority. The result is predictable: moral relativism, confusion about what is right, and a society that increasingly makes its own rules. That’s why the question matters: What impact will you have?  What will your children—and your children’s children—inherit from you? 1) The first gift: time The number one thing parents can give their children is time. This is the foundation that every other blessing rests upon. If parents are uncommitted to spending time with their children, they will not be able to instill the virtues found in God’s word in their children. Timothy is a powerful example. Paul spoke of the sincere faith that first lived in Timothy’s grandmother, Lois, and his mother, Eunice (2 Timothy 1:5). Behind that verse lies an apparent reality: Timothy’s faith did not arise in a vacuum. It was nurtured by family investment—by time spent teaching him who he should be. Children are like a blank canvas. They absorb what surrounds them. They study ways of living, behaving, and thinking. If parents fail to be there—to model and teach—society will gladly fill the gap. And parental time has a significant influence. Research has shown that the most substantial impact on a child’s decisions regarding risky behavior is the parent-child relationship. But the more profound truth is what drives that influence: not just rules, not just words— connection . A child needs to feel that he belongs in the home, that he is appreciated, loved, and affirmed. That kind of connection cannot be produced without time. Many families fall into a trap: they race to provide “stuff.” Toys, clothes, money, entertainment, and nonstop activities. But what children often need more than anything is steady and straightforward presence—undivided attention. Turn off the distractions. Put down the devices. Slow down enough to know your children—and let them know you. 2) The second gift: a desire for God’s word If time is the foundation, then spiritual appetite is one of the most important fruits that grows from it. Parents must give children a desire for God’s word—and that desire must be cultivated early. A simple illustration makes the point. One staple of the Australian diet is a black paste called Vegemite. Many Americans can hardly tolerate it. But Australians often love it—and why? Because their mothers feed it to them early, they acquire a taste for it. Spiritual appetite works the same way. If we want our children to crave the word of God, we must feed them the word of God from an early age. God’s command is clear: “Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children… when thou sittest in thine house… when thou walkest by the way… when thou liest down… when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). That means Bible teaching is not occasional—it is woven into everyday life. Talk about Scripture. Please read it to them. Let them see you reading it. Make God’s word part of the regular rhythm of the home. Along with that desire, parents must instill another vital truth: God’s word is our complete and sole authority in life. This authority is challenged daily, and one of the most common tactics is attacking the beginning—casting doubt on creation and the origin of man. But if children are trained to distrust the Bible at the beginning, they will soon distrust the Bible everywhere else—morality, salvation, judgment, and truth itself. A solid foundation must be built. The Bible must be the central starting point around which beliefs and convictions revolve. And if parents do not transmit this knowledge of God to the next generation, it will be lost. 3) The third gift: protection and defense Parents must also be a defense for their children. Popular culture is not neutral. It is competing with your sons and daughters and is devoted to undermining godly living and traditional values. It is a constant attack. So how do parents defend their children? Defense through restraint Limit excess media. Limit entertainment overload. Reduce exposure to the world’s voice so that your voice—and God’s word—can be heard more clearly. Children need less time under worldly influence and more time under godly influence. Defense through discipline and boundaries God’s word is direct: “Withhold not correction from the child” (Proverbs 23:13). When children are young, they need clear borders around behavior, movement, language, and attitude. As they grow, some borders shift to give increasing responsibility. But other boundaries must remain—and some must even be reinforced because children will push against them. Teenagers may try to manipulate with complaints like, “You don’t trust me.” They may act as if boundaries are cruel. But deep down, children recognize something true: boundaries are proof of love. Curfews say, “Someone wants you safe.”Correction says, “Your character matters.”Rules say, “You belong here, and this home has order.” And those boundaries train children to set their own. They teach what is acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad, wise and foolish. The conclusion: children need their parents Children are easily influenced. They can be “tossed to and fro” by every new idea and every persuasive voice. That is why they need their parents—not just as providers, but as spiritual anchors. Children need time. Children need attention. Children need affection. Children need approval. And children need parents who will give them a godly inheritance that reaches beyond their lifetime.

By Al Felder “And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living” (Genesis 3:20). That single verse reminds us of something simple and profound: every life God has allowed into this world has come through a mother. Scripture offers many portraits of motherhood—some noble, some tragic—but consistently magnifies the beauty and power of a godly mother. Motherhood is not an accident of biology. It is a calling wrapped inside God’s design for the home. And to understand the weight of that calling, we have to go all the way back to the beginning. A mother’s role begins with creation Before there was a nation, a government, or even a written law, God established the family. In creation, the Lord said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). That phrase “help meet” is often misunderstood. It does not describe a lesser being or a disposable assistant. It depicts a woman who is suitable, corresponding, and complementary—created to stand with a man and help him in every way God intended. In the union of husband and wife, two lives become one unit, and in that oneness, the home gains balance: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This truth has been pushed aside in modern thinking. Many have been taught to view God’s design as limiting—yet no one is truly free while rejecting the purpose for which God created them. A woman is not diminished by embracing God’s order; she is strengthened by it. The home becomes steadier, the marriage becomes healthier, and children receive the kind of balance God planned from the start. Mercy in the middle of the fall Motherhood also carries a story of redemption. Eve bears the sorrow of being deceived and stepping into transgression first. It is hard enough to face our own failures, but imagine the weight of realizing your sin brought consequences upon the entire human family. Yet even there, in the shadow of the fall, God revealed His mercy. In Genesis 3:15, God promised that the seed of the woman would one day crush the serpent. Satan deceived the woman, but God made it known that victory would come through her seed—ultimately fulfilled in Christ. In that sense, the woman is not only connected to the beginning of human life; she is also connected to God’s promise of salvation. This is part of what gives motherhood such spiritual depth: through the life-giving role of a mother, God unfolded the story that culminated in the Savior. And when the fullness of time came, God chose Mary—a woman of exemplary character—to carry and nurture the Messiah. Jesus was (and is) God, but He came to live as a man: growing, learning, developing, and walking the human path. For that, He needed a mother. The home is a mother’s sacred assignment Scripture speaks plainly about a woman’s work in the home. A mother is not called to drift through life without direction; she is called to guide the household with intentional care. Guiding the house is not passive. It is management. It is oversight. It is an order. It is the daily, often unseen labor of building a peaceful and stable environment where souls can grow. Being a “keeper at home” does not mean a woman has no skills or productivity beyond her walls. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is industrious—working with wisdom and diligence. But her world revolves around the home. That is the point: whatever other responsibilities exist, the house must remain the priority. Our culture often treats devotion to one’s own home and children as small or inferior. Scripture treats it as noble. God never asked mothers to build their identity on the applause of society. He asked them to make their lives on faithfulness. A mother teaches love where love is tested Titus describes older women teaching younger women to love their husbands and love their children. That matters, because motherhood is not only tender moments and newborn joy. Every mother eventually learns that love is tested on the long road of real life. A young mother may hold her child and feel that the world has stopped. Then come the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the whining, the defiance, the disrespect, the selfishness, and the heartbreak that can appear as children grow. It becomes clear that love is not simply a feeling that occurs at birth and stays effortlessly strong. That is why Scripture urges women to be taught to cherish —to love with a warm, affectionate devotion that finds joy in the duties of the role. A mother can sacrifice without pleasure. But God’s ideal is deeper: a love that is not merely duty, but delight. And here is what happens when that kind of love takes root: the gospel is put on display in the home. In a world full of strife, a mother’s steady affection stands out. People may not first ask what you believe—they often watch whether what you think changes how you live. A mother’s spirit can bring honor to God or shame to His name. The mother-daughter bond and the passing of wisdom Few relationships in the home are as unique as the relationship between a mother and a daughter. There are bonds of heart and understanding that no one else can replicate. A daughter will face changes—physical, emotional, and mental—that a father cannot fully grasp the way a mother can. A mother understands the joys her daughter will experience and the heartbreaks she may one day endure. This is one of God’s gentle provisions: that wisdom can move from one generation of women to the next, not as cold instruction, but as loving guidance. A mother’s influence on her son reaches farther than she realizes A mother’s relationship with her son is different, but just as important. From the moment she hears his first cry, she nourishes, protects, and nurtures him. Yet as he grows, the relationship must transition. The day comes when a son cleaves to his wife, and the mother learns to love him without holding him. That is God’s design. Scripture shows the profound influence of a godly mother in passages like the reminder that Timothy’s sincere faith first lived in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. A mother’s example can shape a son’s faith for life. And her influence doesn’t stop at his spirituality. The love a son receives from his mother often becomes a template for how he understands love and trust in his relationships with women throughout life—sisters, teachers, friends, and eventually a wife. A stable, affectionate, godly mother can help him become a stable, loving, godly man. The grace only a mother seems to have Mothers are often dispensers of grace in the home. People sometimes use the phrase, “a face only a mother could love.” Even when it is said thoughtlessly, it points to something real: a mother’s capacity to forgive, accept, and embrace when others might withdraw. When a child fails—on the field, in school, socially, or morally—there is something powerful about a mother’s outstretched arms. In that embrace, a child learns that love is bigger than success. It teaches them how to receive love and how to return it. Through the highs and lows of life, a mother’s love can help a child stand a bit taller. Looking at biblical mothers with fresh eyes When we think of motherhood, it can help to consider how many biblical scenes would have looked through a mother’s eyes: Joseph’s mother would have prayed for protection, never imagining slavery and prison. Moses’ mother would have wept, placing him where she could no longer keep him, trusting God when her hands had to let go. Daniel’s mother would have trembled at captivity and pleaded for deliverance. And Mary… no mother ever carried a heavier sorrow than standing near her Son as He was mocked, tortured, and crucified. These glimpses remind us that motherhood includes joy, sacrifice, fear, courage, faith, and sometimes deep pain. Yet God has woven honor through it all. The noble calling The mantle of motherhood is great. It is not a small role—it is one of the highest and most sacred callings on earth: shaping souls for eternity, building a home that honors God, and putting the beauty of the gospel on display in daily life.

By Al Felder   “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children… when thou sittest… when thou walkest… when thou liest down… when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:6–9). God never intended for children to be raised on spiritual leftovers. He commanded that His word be taught diligently —with care, persistence, and daily intention. And if anyone should lead this work in the home, it is the father. Children need diligent dads to become the men and women God intends them to be. Yet one of the greatest ills in our society is the absence of spiritual leadership by fathers. In many homes, training is often carried out solely by the mother, while fathers neglect their role as head of the family and abandon their responsibilities. Even worse, many fathers do not know how to lead. It is as if the knowledge of biblical headship had not been transmitted from generation to generation, leaving men with little understanding of family structure or how to fulfill their God-given role. When the pattern is broken, chaos follows. God’s order makes fathers responsible to lead Scripture points back to the creation order to establish role responsibility: “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1 Timothy 2:13). This is not about value—both are made in God’s image—but about responsibility. God gave the man the charge of leadership in the home. Genesis reinforces this when God gave the command about the tree to Adam before  Eve was created (Genesis 2:16–17). God did not repeat the command after Eve’s creation, revealing that God expected Adam to teach Eve and fulfill his role as head of the family. Then God commanded the man and woman to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28). The purpose of the family is larger than survival or comfort—it is meant to spread God’s glory over the face of the earth. The prophet Malachi exposed what happens when family structure collapses. God rebuked Israel for dealing treacherously with the wife of their covenant and reminded them that He made the husband and wife one so that He might seek a godly seed  (Malachi 2:14–15). When the covenant breaks, the fruit suffers. When the marriage bond is dishonored, the next generation is weakened. God is a God of order. Without order, there is confusion and disorganization. And Scripture shows order not only in the home, but even in the Godhead: “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3). That order exists so God’s purposes can be accomplished. Spiritual leadership at home is foundational to leadership in the church One of the most evident proofs of the importance of fatherly leadership is found in the qualifications for elders: “One that ruleth well his own house… For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:4–5). The most important office in the local church requires a man who leads his household in the ways of God. Home leadership is not optional. It is foundational. And Scripture addresses fathers directly: “Ye fathers… bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). That is not a general statement aimed at “parents” in the abstract. It is pointed at fathers. A father is the authority figure in the home, and that makes his conduct extremely influential. If he is harsh and critical, children may resent him. If he is absent, they may have no authority figure to respect. Either way, children can lose respect for authority—and ultimately lose respect for God. Children watch their father closely—his moods, body language, and tone of voice—trying to answer a question they may never speak out loud: How does my dad feel about me?   When a father’s approval is absent, a child will look for validation elsewhere. The crisis is real—and the need is urgent The need for diligent dads is not a theory. It is visible all around us. The text references sobering statistics: millions of men claim no faith in Christ; many children grow up without their biological father; large portions of prison populations grew up without a father figure. Whatever else those numbers mean, they should shake us awake to this truth: we need men to be diligent dads and fulfill the role God has given them.   The right starting point is the father This is where many families go wrong—they try everything to fix the spiritual condition of children except the place God began: the father. The responsibility is not to be outsourced. A pointed statement is included from Voddie Baucham, Jr.: fathers—not church programs or ministers created to fill the void—are charged with discipling the next generation. God placed this work in the home and its leadership on the shoulders of the father. Three honest evaluations every father must make 1) What defines me? In our culture, many men define themselves by career. But Scripture gives a different perspective: “If any provide not for his own… he hath denied the faith” (1 Timothy 5:8). A career exists to serve the family—not to replace the family. It doesn’t define a man. A man is determined by how he fulfills his God-given role and how he relates to the members of his household. 2) How do I use my time? “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15–16). Every father should honestly assess his weekly time: time at work, entertainment, recreation, leisure, time with family, and time in God’s word. Too often, the most critical areas get the least attention. If we aren’t purposeful, society will gladly fill our schedules until our children are grown and gone, and regret settles in. 3) Do I truly love the church? “I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord” (Psalm 122:1). If a father is unenthused about the church and indifferent toward serving God, his family will likely absorb the same attitude. But when a father is passionate and joyful about worship, that zeal becomes contagious in the home. The path forward: pray, study, and lead After honest evaluation, the following steps are not complicated—but they require resolve. Pray for your family and with your family “Pray one for another… The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). Prayer is powerful because it is communion with God. A father should feel the weight of eternity when he thinks about his children. The desire to see them converted should stir deep emotion and deep urgency. Study the Bible—personally and together “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). Start simple if you must. Read a passage and talk about it. Study a chapter. Choose a topic and examine what Scripture says. As knowledge grows, confidence grows. Build family Bible time into ordinary life: a scheduled weekly study, assigning verses to read or memorize, talking about Scripture while driving, doing chores, or sharing family time. Make the Bible part of the home’s daily rhythm. Do it—even if you don’t feel ready Are you going to have all the answers? No. Are you going to make mistakes? Yes. But the best way to fail as a father is to do nothing. And if you feel untrained or without a model, Scripture provides a solution: “Commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2). Seek guidance from a faithful man, learn, and then lead. Excuses end here. God has spoken. The future is our responsibility.

By Al Felder “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and truth… choose you this day whom ye will serve… but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:14–15). Joshua’s words were not a slogan. They were the settled conviction of a man who had lived long enough to know what happens when God is not taken seriously. He had seen God’s power in Egypt, walked through the Red Sea, served faithfully under Moses, and urged Israel to obey when others trembled. God rewarded his faithfulness by allowing him to lead Israel into the Promised Land. And when Joshua reached the end of his life, he spoke with urgency. He knew difficult days were ahead, and he knew this truth: the only way for God’s people to be successful is for the family to be strong in its commitment to the Lord.   The church faces challenges today just as Israel did then. The answer has not changed. Homes must return to God’s pattern, and parents must train their children to do the same. The choice Joshua set before Israel still stands before every family: Will we serve the Lord?   God established the family before any nation or government After God completed His works of creation, He ordained marriage. Jesus said that “from the beginning” God made them male and female, joining husband and wife into one flesh, and commanded, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:6–9). Long before there was a state or man-made government, God sanctioned marriage. Through this, God made the family unit  the most essential component of any society—and of the church. God has patterns for nations and patterns for the church, but before any of those, God gave a pattern for the family. As members of the body of Christ, we must make sure we are abiding by that pattern. Marriage exists for God’s glory “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife… This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31–32). Marriage is designed to represent the covenant relationship between Christ and His church. Its highest meaning and ultimate purpose is to put that relationship on display. That means the roles in marriage are not arbitrary: The wife represents the church, gladly submitting to Christlike leadership. The husband represents Christ, loving sacrificially and leading for his wife's benefit. Many men can imagine dying for their wives in a dramatic moment—but the real test is the small daily moments. Do you die to self for your wife in ordinary life?  Do you put aside your preferences and ambitions for her good? That is the kind of love that brings honor to God. When a man and woman marry, they covenant before God to become “one flesh”—their lives woven together in a comprehensive oneness: joys, difficulties, triumphs, failures, possessions, and bodies. Cleave: the covenant pursuit that holds a home together In this new relationship, Scripture says a husband and wife must cleave  to one another. The word carries the idea of pursuing hard—being firmly joined in a permanent and abiding union. Only the pursuit of God should be greater than a husband and wife’s pursuit of one another. Husbands should consider the picture they are painting for a watching world. If a husband fails to reflect Christ’s love and leadership, he mars the image he is called to portray. Christ’s headship is perfect—wise, proper, and entirely devoted to the good of His bride. A husband is called to follow that example. God made the wife to be a strong helper, not a passive bystander In creation, God said something was “not good” before sin ever entered the world: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). A wife helps her husband with all her gifts and abilities. She contributes ideas and suggestions. She offers wisdom and insight. She prays and encourages. She does these things not to take over leadership, but to strengthen and support her husband in his God-given responsibility. And when a difference of opinion arises, she does not manipulate to get her way—she submits by following his lead. Marriage, as God intended it, should draw both husband and wife closer to Him and provide the most significant opportunity for self-denial and obedience. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:4–5). Children must be taught diligently—and it starts in the home When children are born into the home, God’s pattern is clear: parents must diligently teach His word. “And these words… shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children… when thou sittest… when thou walkest… when thou liest down… when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:6–9). This is not occasional, half-hearted instruction. It is careful, persistent teaching. Both the father and mother have a role to play. The father’s sobering responsibility God has placed the father as the spiritual head of the house. A sobering truth is that many children form their earliest picture of God’s leadership by what they see in their father. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). A father must be careful: harshness and constant criticism can produce resentment, while absence produces a home without steady authority. Either extreme can damage a child’s respect for authority and—ultimately—their respect for God. That is why diligent fathers are desperately needed. The mother’s vital role Scripture teaches that a woman is to guide the house (1 Timothy 5:14) and be a keeper at home (Titus 2:5), meaning she manages, guards, and keeps the household. This does not mean Scripture forbids a woman from work outside the home or from receiving wages. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is described as industrious, thoughtful, and productive—buying and selling, overseeing responsibilities, and using her strength wisely—yet her world revolves around the home. God’s will is clear: a mother must put the home above everything else in this world. And one of the best gifts parents can give children is undivided attention—turning off distractions and giving time, teaching, and presence. If parents do not transmit knowledge of God to the next generation, it will be lost. One pattern the church has neglected: helping children find a godly spouse One of the most neglected patterns is the guidance of children in selecting a spouse. Too often, the church is becoming indistinguishable from the world in how it pursues relationships. The world’s pattern has produced sexual activity before marriage and infidelity and divorce after marriage. If God’s people follow the same pattern, they will suffer the same consequences—and the pain will spill into the body of Christ. Modern dating is commonly initiated by the young man or young woman, conducted outside the oversight of family authority, and may not even have marriage as its goal. The biblical pattern is different: the relationship begins with the young man going to the young woman’s father first, continues under parental oversight, and culminates in marriage. This requires something many homes lack: a strong parent-child relationship—cultivated so that children respect and honor parental wisdom. Dating “just for fun” is dangerous. “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?” (Proverbs 6:27). When young people pursue relationships for thrills, they awaken passions that do not belong outside marriage. Instead, youth should prioritize seeking God: “Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth” (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Before pursuing a relationship with another person, pursue a relationship with God. Use youthful energy and time for the kingdom, being an example in word, conduct, faith, and purity (1 Timothy 4:12). Biblical “job descriptions” for a future spouse When the time comes to choose a spouse, God’s word gives clear expectations. A young woman must be: a Christian, devoted to serving God and learning His ways, respectful of biblical leadership, willing to make the home a priority. A young man must be: a Christian, committed to biblical leadership, a protector, a provider. These are not shallow preferences. They are foundational qualifications for the roles of wife and husband that Scripture assigns. A warning from Israel: knowledge can be lost in a few generations Joshua died at 110. Then the next generation of leaders died. And then came one of the most sobering statements in Scripture: “There arose another generation… which knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel” (Judges 2:10). Three generations—counting Joshua’s—was enough for Israel to lose the knowledge of God. How long will it take for the church to suffer the same fate if homes do not regain Joshua’s conviction? The call remains: “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

By Al Felder “And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren ” (Genesis 13:8). Peace and harmony are blessings from God. Yet no matter how close a relationship may be, conflict will arise at times—between husbands and wives, parents and children, and even among members of the body of Christ. The question is not whether conflict will ever appear, but how God’s people handle conflict when it disrupts relationships . God has not left His people without guidance. Scripture provides a pattern for addressing conflict that protects relationships, strengthens the church, and honors Christ. Conflict is not part of God’s original design In the beginning, conflict did not exist in human relationships. There was no strife, jealousy, envy, or hatred because there was no sin. People acted toward one another with love. But sin entered God’s creation, and the effects were immediate. When God confronted Adam after the first sin, Adam’s response revealed how quickly sin damages relationships: “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me… she gave me… and I did eat” (Genesis 3:12). A loving husband became a blaming husband. Not long after, Cain’s jealousy toward Abel grew into hatred and murder (Genesis 4:8). The relationship of brothers turned into enemies because sin took root in the heart. Conflict is destructive—especially among God’s people Conflict is a military term meaning to fight against . When two people allow themselves to become “at odds,” the relationship becomes a battlefield. And when conflict is allowed to spread among God’s people, it does tremendous damage. Unresolved conflicts drain the church of strength. It rarely stays between “just two people.” Others are drawn in, sides form, and division grows. A congregation can become like an army thrown into confusion—turning on itself instead of standing together against the enemy. The mission suffers. Souls are neglected. The church is weakened from within. So what can be done to prevent conflict from destroying relationships? Where conflicts truly come from James answers that question plainly: “From whence come wars and fighting among you?… even of your lusts that war in your members” (James 4:1–3). Conflicts arise when what I want  becomes the highest goal. It shows itself in language like  'my way, '  'my feelings, ' '  my rights, '  and 'my needs .' Two people dig in, build their camps, and start campaigning for what they desire. Pride and fleshly desires take the place of humility and love. This is not the same as contending for truth against false doctrine. The focus here is conflict between people—often fueled by selfishness or mishandling personality differences. Different personalities are not sinful, but we can sin by how we respond  to those differences. And selfishness itself is sin because it violates God’s command to put others first. Deal with conflict quickly When conflict arises, it must be handled quickly, not postponed. Jesus said, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow…” (Matthew 6:34). Today’s problems should be handled today. Unresolved issues from the past become a load that weakens a Christian’s ability to serve effectively. Christ’s instruction is direct: “If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee… first be reconciled to thy brother” (Matthew 5:23–24). Reconciliation is not a “someday” command. It is urgent. Time often makes conflict worse, not better. The offended and the offender both have responsibility God’s pattern calls both people to act—not one. If someone has something against you Before approaching anyone else, look inward. Jesus said to remove the beam from your own eye first (Matthew 7:3–5). Honest self-examination is essential because many conflicts never resolve when both people only point fingers. If you discover that you have wronged someone, seek forgiveness. Pride cannot be allowed to keep the relationship broken. If someone has trespassed against you Christ also gives clear instruction: “If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone” (Matthew 18:15). If you believe you have been wronged, go directly to the person—privately. It is that simple. What not to do: bitterness and gossip Many conflicts arise because people do the opposite of what Matthew 18 says. Instead of going to the person, they go to everyone else. James warns that bitter envying and strife are not wisdom from above; they produce confusion and every evil work (James 3:14–16). When we carry bitterness, envy, and strife, the offense grows. And when we tell others instead of the person involved, we multiply damage. That is not God’s way. When Scripture is applied thoroughly, both parties have an obligation—each should be moving toward reconciliation. It creates a beautiful picture: two Christians walking toward each other and meeting in the middle. Renew the mind: stop thinking like the world “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). A worldly mindset says, “Stand your ground, protect your pride, get even, demand your rights.”God’s word teaches the opposite. As Scripture renews the mind, the response to conflict changes. Problems are handled in a way that pleases God. Practical habits that prevent conflict from escalating Give a soft answer “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Often, one sharp response meets another, and before long, a minor irritation becomes a full-blown conflict. But a gracious response can defuse a situation before it grows. Prefer one another “Let no man seek his own, but every man another’s wealth” (1 Corinthians 10:24). It is challenging to stay offended when the heart is genuinely focused on what is best for someone else. The spirit of “self first” fuels conflict; the spirit of “others first” starves it. Pray for one another “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another… The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). It is hard to remain bitter toward someone you are praying for. Prayer softens the heart, invites healing, and leads to peace in the body of Christ. Conclusion: forgive as Christ forgave Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice are fuel for conflict. God’s people must work to maintain a good attitude toward one another. “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another… even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Colossians 3:13). Christ sought our good when we were unlovely and ungodly. He set the ultimate example of putting others first. If we follow Him, we can face conflict without destroying relationships—and we can protect the unity and strength of the Lord’s church.

By Al Felder “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church… Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22–24). In these verses, God reveals a deeper understanding of marriage—one that lifts it far above preference, personality, or culture. Marriage was designed to represent something holy: Christ’s covenant relationship with the church . In that picture, a husband and wife portray to a lost world the relational oneness that exists between Christ and His people. Wives, in this relationship, portray the church—showing what it looks like for God’s people to be subject to their Savior. This subject is not popular in modern society. For years, the differences between men and women have been downplayed, and distinctions of role are treated as offensive. But the tension between the sexes is not new, and if we want to understand it, we must begin where God begins: in the beginning . God’s design: equal in value, different in role Genesis teaches that both man and woman were created in the image of God: “male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:26–27). That means both are equal in value and dignity . Neither sex is more valuable than the other. Scripture reinforces this truth when it says the husband is to honor his wife and recognize that they are “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). The wife is not a lesser person. She bears God’s image and must be treated with honor. At the same time, Genesis also teaches that equality of value does not mean sameness of role. Genesis 2 gives a closer view that shows order and responsibility: the man was created first, and that order establishes headship and submission as part of God’s original design. Paul reflects this creation order in 1 Corinthians 11:8–9: “the woman [is] of the man… created for the man.” In the beginning, the picture is beautiful: a sinless man who is strong and tender in moral leadership, and a sinless woman who is joyful and supportive in response—no belittling from the man, no groveling from the woman, and no conflict between their roles. When sin entered, the order was attacked and confusion followed Satan hates God’s order. He rejected his own role because he wanted to be god, and he delights in twisting what God has established. That is precisely what happened in Genesis 3. Satan approached the woman, making her the spokesperson—something that should not have happened according to God’s pattern of leadership. The man stood silent, passive, and withdrawn. The result was ruin. When the New Testament says the woman was deceived (1 Timothy 2:14), the point is not that women are morally inferior or more gullible. The point is that great ruin follows when God’s order is rejected , and both men and women become more vulnerable to error when they forsake God’s arrangement. Sin introduced confusion that has lasted through the ages: masculinity and femininity are denied, men become passive, women become aggressive, and society becomes confused about what a man should be and what a woman should be. Sin also damaged how men and women respond to one another. Adam blamed Eve (Genesis 3:12), showing the beginning of hostility and mistreatment. And God told Eve, “thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16). That “desire” is clarified by the parallel language in Genesis 4:6–7, where sin “desired” Cain—meaning it sought to overpower and dominate him. Cain was told he must rule over it. In the relationship between man and woman after the fall, conflict emerges—an ongoing battle of domination and control. Men often misuse physical strength to rule harshly. Women may not possess the same physical strength, but sin still tempts them toward manipulation—through words, influence, or using weakness as leverage to subdue a man. That is not God’s design. That is sin’s distortion. Redemption restores God’s pattern In Christ, God calls both man and woman to break the bonds of sin and return to His original design for marriage. A husband portrays Christ’s loving headship of the church, and a wife portrays the church’s joyful submission to Christ. That brings us back to the command: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). What submission means The word “submit” is a military term meaning to rank under. It involves more than outward obedience; it also includes an attitude of subjecting one’s judgment and will to another within God’s appointed order. This does not  mean the woman is inferior. Consider Christ Himself. Philippians 2:6–8 shows that Jesus is equal with God, yet He humbled Himself and became obedient to carry out the plan of redemption. Likewise, a wife submits so that God’s plan for the family can be carried out. “In everything” and the two clarifications that must be made Ephesians 5:24 says, “as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” That means the husband’s role as leader, protector, and provider touches all areas of life. But two crucial clarifications keep this command from being distorted. 1) Submission does not mean a wife can’t think, speak, or contribute God created woman to be a helper—not helpless. The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10–12 shows a wife whose husband safely trusts her—nothing hidden, no fear of ridicule, and a profound unity of heart and purpose. Biblical submission includes a wife using her gifts to help her husband: offering wisdom, insight, prayer, and encouragement—not to take over leadership, but to strengthen and support it. And when differences arise, submission means she does not manipulate to get her way; she follows his lead. 2) Submission never places a husband in God’s place God comes first. If a husband asks his wife to sin, her obedience must be to God. Acts 5:29 clearly states the principle: “We ought to obey God rather than men.” A husband’s authority is delegated , not absolute. He is the head of the home to carry out God’s plan—not his own. So while a husband is first in human relationships, God always takes precedence over all . Conclusion: submission honors God Colossians 3:16–18 connects the wife’s role to a life governed by God’s word: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” A wife honors God when she submits—showing that obeying God matters more than getting her way, and portraying to the world the church’s reverent submission to Christ. When God’s design is embraced—without pride, without abuse, without manipulation—marriage becomes what it was always meant to be: a living picture of Christ and His people.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25–29). That command is not a vague encouragement—it is a holy standard. God calls a husband to paint a faithful picture for a watching world: Christ’s love and Christ’s leadership toward His church . When a husband neglects this calling, he doesn’t just harm his home—he distorts the image he is supposed to reflect. The standard is high because the model is perfect. Even when the church struggles, Christ’s headship remains wise, right, and wholly oriented toward His bride’s good. Christ has given Himself for her benefit, and a husband is called to follow that same pattern in the home. Headship is real—and it exists for God’s glory God established an order and function in the home:  the husband is the head of the wife , meaning God has delegated a measure of authority to the husband for His glory. This difference in authority is not unique to marriage. Scripture recognizes that many relationships involve rightful authority—parents and children, elders and the church, employers and employees, governments and citizens—because order requires structure. But biblical headship must be adequately understood, or it will be abused. 1) A husband’s authority is delegated and limited A husband does not possess unlimited authority—only God does. The commands of God’s word  limit a husband’s authority . He does not have the right to do or demand anything he wants, and he certainly has no authority to sin or pressure his wife into sin. 2) A husband’s authority is not for his own benefit Many marital conflicts are fueled by poor leadership—when a husband uses his position to serve himself, pursue fleshly gain, act irresponsibly, or “lord it over” his wife. That is not biblical headship; it is failure. Scripture presses the point further: a husband is to view his wife as his own body. Christ exercises headship over the church—His body—for her blessing, her safety, and her welfare. He nourishes and cherishes. A husband is called to lead with the same orientation. The model for a husband: the Good Shepherd, not a hireling Jesus described Himself as the Good Shepherd—one who lays down His life for the sheep and leads by example. That picture exposes a problem in many homes: some men drift into “hireling” behavior—self-serving, self-protecting, and unwilling to sacrifice. A hireling looks for personal ease. A shepherd looks for his sheep’s good. God has called husbands to be family shepherds —protectors and leaders whose decisions are not driven by personal desire but by the spiritual benefit of the family. Husbands should not love to rule; they should rule to love . This is why biblical headship is more than authority—it is loving leadership. What Christlike love looks like in a husband If husbands are commanded to love as Christ loved the church, then the most straightforward way to understand marital love is to study the love of Christ. Christ’s love initiates: “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us…” (1 John 4:10). Christ did not wait until His people were deserving. He moved first. Likewise, a husband must not wait on perfect circumstances before he loves well. He should be the initiator—seeking his wife’s benefit and conducting himself so that she is drawn closer to Christ. Christ’s love is verbal: God repeatedly assures His people of His love. A husband should not assume his wife “just knows.” Love must be spoken—plainly, sincerely, consistently. That includes encouragement, appreciation, and compassionate listening—helping her carry burdens and giving strength from God’s word. Christ’s love is demonstrated by action: God “commendeth his love toward us” in action—Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). A husband’s love should be visible in daily life: thoughtful gestures, renewed tenderness, and practical attention—doing again the kinds of things that once showed pursuit and devotion. Christ’s love does what is best: Christ sanctifies and cleanses, aiming to present the church glorious, holy, and without blemish (Ephesians 5:26–27). That means a husband’s love is not merely sentimental; it is purposeful. He seeks what is best for his wife—helping without being asked, praying for her, and leading spiritually. Christ’s love is self-sacrificial Christ “giveth his life for the sheep” (John 10:11). Most husbands assume they would sacrifice in a crisis, yet everyday life often reveals the real struggle: self first, comfort first, preferences first. Christlike love flips that. It prefers the wife, seeks her interests, gives time, and makes room for what blesses her. Love requires knowledge: learn your wife A husband cannot love well without learning well: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge… that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). This kind of knowledge is not shallow familiarity—it is thoughtful understanding: her capabilities, her pressures, her needs, and what strengthens or discourages her. Practical ways to grow in that knowledge include: Observe : look, listen, and learn. Ask purposeful questions : not interrogation, but sincere pursuit. Experience her world : walk a mile in her shoes. Honor your wife: treat her as precious and delicate Knowledge should produce honor—esteem, gratitude, and careful treatment. A husband honors his wife through words and tone: speaking kindly, refusing belittlement, building her up, and correcting with encouragement rather than contempt. Honor also shows up in service: not treating her as a servant, but serving her with genuine care. Closing: the calling is costly—and it is worth it To be the husband God calls a man to be, he must be willing to study and apply God’s pattern of love, even when it requires personal sacrifice. Christ loved the church to the point of death, and husbands are called to model that sacrificial love toward their wives.

Relationships According to the Bible “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him ” (Genesis 2:18). From the beginning, God made it clear: human life was designed for relationship. We are not isolated beings. We need fellowship, companionship, and connection—relationships that sharpen us and move us toward God’s purpose for our lives. But as important as human relationships are, Scripture shows that the most important relationship of all is our relationship with God . Everything else is built on that foundation. The first relationship: God and man Genesis gives a beautiful picture of what God intended: God walking in the garden “in the cool of the day” (Genesis 3:8). That scene reveals two essential truths: Communication existed between God and man.  There was closeness, fellowship, and daily interaction. Sin changed the relationship immediately.  Instead of running to God, Adam and Eve hid in fear. Sin still does that. It separates. Isaiah said, “Your iniquities have separated between you and your God” (Isaiah 59:2). And that separation is not something man can fix by his own willpower or good intentions. God restored what sin broke—through Jesus Here is the hope: God did for man what man could not do for himself. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” (John 14:6). God’s word also tells us what we must do to be restored to Him: Believe  (Mark 16:16) Repent  (Luke 13:3) Confess Christ  (Matthew 10:32) Be baptized into Christ for remission of sins , being raised to walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4) Only after reconciliation with God can our other relationships become what they need to be. Scripture is blunt about this: if someone claims to love God while hating a brother, that claim is empty (1 John 4:20–21). Relationships in the body of Christ Christian living is not meant to be a solitary journey. It is a walk of believers together. Ephesians lays out this truth clearly: after teaching God’s plan of redemption, it turns to instruct believers on how to live with one another. “I…beseech you that ye walk worthy… with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1–3). Relationships in the church—along with those in the home and workplace—are designed to help us grow not only individually but also corporately into the fullness of Christ for God’s glory. The enemy of relationships: pride in two disguises Many relationship breakdowns aren’t rooted in personality differences—they’re rooted in self-centeredness. The enemy of humility and meekness is pride. Pride can show up in at least two ways: Superiority , like the Pharisee who thanked God he wasn’t like other men (Luke 18:11). Self-pity , a different form of pride that still seeks elevation and attention, only through despair instead of boasting. Either way, pride turns relationships into a contest: Who is right? Who is seen? Who wins? The Christ-centered path: deny self and consider others “For to me to live is Christ” (Philippians 1:21). When Christ is truly first, relationships change. Instead of asking what we can get out of people, we learn to ask what we can give. That is where healthy relationships begin: God first, then others, then self. Communication: the lifeblood of healthy relationships Communication is at the heart of the relationship with God and the relationship with people. “The eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers” (1 Peter 3:12). In close relationships, the closer the bond, the more transparency is required. A husband and wife should be completely transparent—no secrets. When communication breaks down, trust breaks down. A wife once assumed her husband was doing something sinful with money taken from overtime pay, growing bitter for months—only to learn he had been saving it for their anniversary. A marriage nearly collapsed because of assumptions and silence. Listen before you answer: “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him” (Proverbs 18:13). Listening well takes discipline: concentrate, don’t plan your response while the other person talks, don’t interrupt, and ask clarifying questions when the conversation matters. Communication is more than words: Tone of voice, body language, and deeds speak too. The same sentence can be warm or threatening depending on how it is delivered. Speak truth—and speak to build up: “Putting away lying, speak every man the truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another” (Ephesians 4:25). And “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying… Let all bitterness, and wrath… be put away… and be ye kind… tenderhearted… forgiving one another” (Ephesians 4:29, 31–32). God’s purpose in relationships “Two are better than one… for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow… and a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). The closer the relationship, the more opportunity it gives us to grow and become more Christlike—whether husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, or brethren in the body of Christ. The goal is not to make people the way we want them to be, but to encourage them to become more like Christ.

Recovering God’s design for marriage in a disposable age Jesus said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4–6). That single statement cuts through centuries of cultural confusion. Marriage is not a contract we adjust when it becomes inconvenient—it is a covenant God designed “at the beginning.” In Matthew 19, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with a question that sounds familiar today: “Is it lawful…for every cause?”  In other words— Can I end my marriage whenever I decide I’m done?  Jesus refused to start the conversation with modern opinions or rabbinic loopholes. He went back to creation because if we don’t understand God’s original design, we will never understand God’s boundaries. 1) Marriage begins in creation, not culture Jesus anchored marriage in what God established “at the beginning”: male and female, leaving father and mother, cleaving to one’s spouse, and becoming “one flesh” (Matthew 19:4–6). That matters because the more a society normalizes divorce, the more people lose the proper view of marriage. Even the disciples—after hearing Jesus’ strict standard—reacted with shock:  “If the case…be so… it is not good to marry”  (Matt. 19:10). Their reaction shows how far divorce culture had already shaped how people thought. 2) Why did Moses speak about divorce at all? The Pharisees asked, “Why did Moses then command…a writing of divorcement?”  Jesus answered plainly: “Because of the hardness of your hearts.”   In other words, divorce regulation in the Law was not a celebration of divorce—it was restraint in a fallen world. But Jesus did not merely restate what “people allowed.” He tightened the practice by restoring God’s intention: marriage is meant to be permanent, faithful, and honored. 3) Jesus’ exception clause: what Matthew 19:9 actually says Matthew 19:9 is one of the most important passages in the New Testament on divorce and remarriage, because it includes what many call the “exception clause”: “except it be for fornication.”   “Put away” is divorce—not mere distance The word translated “put away” is ἀπολύω (apolyō) —to release, dismiss, or divorce—used in the New Testament for formal divorce. That matters because some try to blur the lines between separation, desertion, and divorce. Jesus is addressing divorce as an act. The exception: πορνεία (porneia) Jesus’ exception uses πορνεία (porneia) —a broad term for sexual immorality. Porneia is broader than the specific word for adultery ( μοιχεία, moicheia ) and can include a serious sexual breach of the covenant relationship. Why might Jesus use porneia  instead of the narrower term? Because of the Jewish betrothal context (Matthew 1:19) and the inclusive scope of porneia . The core conclusion Jesus affirms the permanence of marriage—and teaches that divorce and remarriage outside the God-given exception result in adultery. 4) The “great mystery”: marriage displays Christ and the church Marriage is not only about companionship or family life (as important as those are). Scripture says marriage points to something bigger: “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31–32). The highest purpose of marriage is to put on display the covenant relationship of Christ and His church—faithful love, committed sacrifice, and enduring unity. Christ has one bride. He does not abandon her. He does not divide His affections. In the same way, marriage is meant to be singular and sacred. 5) What about separation? 1 Corinthians 7:11 The New Testament also addresses a real-world situation: conflict so severe that spouses may live apart. Paul writes: “If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:11). The Greek word for “depart” ( χωρίζω, chōrizō )—to separate or withdraw—is not  the technical word for divorce used in Matthew 19:9, but it can mean divorce. So what are the biblical options when separation happens? Remain unmarried Be reconciled And “be reconciled” connects to καταλλάσσω (katallassō) —restoring fellowship and replacing hostility with peace. Separation does not dissolve the marriage bond; reconciliation is God’s preferred path wherever repentance and change are possible. 6) Mixed marriages: believer + unbeliever God’s ideal is spiritual unity, yet Scripture also addresses cases in which one spouse is not a Christian. Paul teaches that if the unbelieving spouse is willing to dwell with the believer, the believer must not seek divorce simply because of differing faith. And God can use faithful conduct as a powerful witness (1 Peter 3:1–2). 7) “Not under bondage” in 1 Corinthians 7:15 A major question arises when an unbeliever leaves: Is the Christian then free to remarry?  Consider the wording: “Not under bondage” uses δέδουλωται (dedoulōtai)  from δουλόω (douloō) —to enslave. When Paul speaks of being “bound” in marriage, he uses a different verb (δέω). 1 Corinthians 7:15 does not dissolve the marriage bond; it teaches that the believer is not enslaved to chase, fight, or be tormented by the departing spouse. God has called us to peace—but that is not the same thing as permission to remarry. 8) Practical applications for believers today If marriage is a covenant meant to reflect Christ and His church, then honoring marriage is not optional Christianity—it is discipleship. Here are a few grounded steps that flow from the sermon’s message: Recover reverence for what marriage is .  Treat it as holy, not casual. Reject “every cause” divorce thinking.  Don’t let convenience become your authority. Pursue repentance and reconciliation when possible.  God’s will is permanence, faithfulness, and restored peace. In mixed marriages, lead with godly conduct.  A faithful example often speaks louder than arguments. Remember the “why.”  Marriage is designed to display covenant love—Christlike sacrifice, steadfast loyalty, and holiness. Closing: honor what God joined God designed marriage for companionship, moral purity, spiritual growth, and gospel reflection—blessings that flourish best in the marriage God instituted. That’s why Jesus’ command still stands: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

In every generation, cultures debate and redefine what marriage should be. Laws change, customs shift, and opinions multiply. But long before any nation wrote its first statute or culture formed its first traditions, God Himself  designed marriage. Scripture does not begin with a government, a school, or a nation. It begins with a man and a woman in a garden , joined together by their Creator. If we want to understand marriage, we must go back to where God began. 1. Marriage Begins in the Mind of God Genesis tells us: “So God created man in his own image… male and female created he them.” (Gen. 1:27) Humanity is made in the image of God, but that image is expressed in two complementary sexes —male and female. In Genesis 2, God looks at Adam in his solitude and declares: “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18) God did not create marriage because Adam was bored or lonely in a casual sense. He created marriage to meet a God-identified need : man needed a companion who corresponded to him—equal in worth, different in role, perfectly suited to stand at his side. When God brought Eve to Adam, he exclaimed: “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” (Gen. 2:23) With those words, Scripture introduces the one-flesh union  that defines marriage. This is more than romance; it is the beginning of the first family—designed for mutual help, shared purpose, and divine blessing. 2. God’s Intent: Exclusive, Sacred, and Permanent From the very beginning, God’s design for marriage is clear: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24) In that single sentence, God reveals His pattern: One man and one woman  – not two men, not two women, not any other arrangement. Leaving and cleaving  – a new, primary human relationship is formed. One flesh  – a profound spiritual, emotional, and physical union. No expiration date  – nothing in the text suggests rotation, substitution, or trial periods. Marriage is not a human experiment; it is a divine institution . It was meant to be: Exclusive  – “a man… shall cleave unto his wife.” Sacred  – “what God hath joined together.” (Matt. 19:6) Lifelong  – designed as a covenant, not a temporary arrangement. God also gave the first couple a mission: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” (Gen. 1:28) Through the family, life would be propagated, values transmitted, and God’s authority honored. The home was to be the first school, the first church, and the first government —the center of instruction, love, and security. 3. Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract Modern culture treats marriage like a contract: If you make me happy, I’ll stay. If you don’t, I’ll go. Scripture presents a very different picture: “She is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” (Mal. 2:14) A contract  is about mutual benefit and can be abandoned when the terms no longer please us. A covenant  is a solemn, binding commitment made in the presence of God. It is grounded not in fluctuating emotion, but in reverence and faithfulness. When God brought Eve to Adam, He was doing more than introducing two people. He was witnessing the beginning of a covenant . That is why God condemns treachery against “the wife of thy youth” (Mal. 2:14)—because to abandon a spouse is to mock the covenant God Himself observed. The New Testament lifts marriage even higher. In Ephesians 5, Paul tells us that marriage is a living picture of Christ and the church : “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” (Eph. 5:32) Christ is the faithful Bridegroom. The church is His bride. To break faith with one’s spouse is to preach a false message about the faithfulness of Christ. That spiritual dimension elevates marriage beyond mere emotion or convenience; it becomes an act of testimony. 4. Jesus Reaffirms the Original Design Centuries after Eden, the Pharisees approached Jesus with a divorce question, hoping to trap Him in controversy. Jesus did not appeal to the customs of His day or the schools of popular rabbis. Instead, He went back to creation : “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:4–6) Jesus affirmed: God defines gender: male and female . Marriage is between one male and one female . In marriage, two become one flesh . What God joins, man must not separate. When the Pharisees pointed to Moses’ allowance for divorce, Jesus replied: “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matt. 19:8) Divorce was a concession to human sinfulness—not God’s ideal. The pattern “from the beginning” still stands . Jesus allows one exception—sexual immorality—but makes clear that breaking the covenant is not God’s desire. 5. Why Lifelong Marriage Matters God designed marriage to accomplish several holy purposes: Companionship  – “It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Gen. 2:18) Procreation  – “Be fruitful, and multiply.” (Gen. 1:28) Moral purity  – “To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” (1 Cor. 7:2) Spiritual growth  – husband and wife sharpen and refine one another. Gospel reflection  – marriage pictures Christ’s covenant love. These blessings are fully realized only when marriage follows God’s pattern: one man, one woman, for life . When we tamper with that structure—through polygamy, casual divorce, same-sex unions, or other distortions—we forfeit the blessings and invite confusion, instability, and judgment. 6. Holding Fast to God’s Pattern in a Confused Culture We live in a time when almost every part of God’s design is being questioned: Gender is treated as fluid, self-defined, and changeable. Marriage is rebranded as any relationship between consenting adults. Vows are seen as temporary, conditional, and easily broken. In the midst of this confusion, the Christian must lovingly but firmly affirm: Gender is binary and created by God , not chosen by man. Marriage is sacred , not just a social contract. Divorce is a sorrowful concession , not God’s design. Faithfulness matters —to one’s spouse and to God. A husband and wife who commit themselves to each other for life, under God’s rule, create more than a household. They make a sanctuary of love, a fortress of truth, and a witness to the world . Conclusion: God’s Design Still Works The family is in crisis today, not because God’s design is flawed, but because it has been ignored, redefined, and dishonored. Yet for those who return to Scripture, there is hope, healing, and joy . God’s plan has not changed: One man, one woman, for life. When we embrace that pattern, we are not clinging to outdated tradition—we are aligning ourselves with the wisdom of our Creator and bearing witness to the unbreakable covenant love of Christ. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:6) May our homes, our churches, and our lives boldly declare that God’s design for marriage is not broken. It is beautiful—and it still works.